Coming Undone

I imagine a woman getting ready for a party in the Victorian era. Tightening her corset...tighter and tighter, until she thinks she will faint. But at last! Her waist is thinner than that other woman's. Now for her posy...perfectly picked to have just the right fragrance and color. Because of course everyone will like her if she has a small waist and the prettiest posy attached...right?? 

Acceptance is defined, per dictionary.com

 ac·cept·ance [ak-sep-tuhns]  –noun

1. the act of taking or receiving something offered.

2. favorable reception; approval; favor.

3. the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.

4. the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.

6. Commerce .

a. an engagement to pay an order, draft, or bill of exchange when it becomes due, as by the person on whom it is drawn.

b. an order, draft, etc., that a person or bank has accepted as calling for payment and has thus promised to pay.

I have worn the "corset" that our Victorian lady wears. Not literally, but figuratively. I believe that we all have. My corset looked something like performance. "If I (fill in the blank) perfectly, then you will accept me. Maybe not love me, but at least accept me." I found myself being "tightened" in my corset to the point of suffocation. It disguised who I really was, until I realized that I didn't know who I really was. Simply put, I became whoever you needed me to be at that moment.

That one word, "Acceptance", can bring up memories we would rather forget. It can also bring to our minds what lengths we go to in order to be accepted, or to be deemed "acceptable".

Over the past 2 months, God has faithfully caused everything I tried to do to be accepted and acceptable to fall completely flat! Everything I did to be loved or lovable fell apart. In the past, I have always been able to "recover" after a breakdown, or an emotional day. Last week, the unthinkable happened: i. couldn't. do. it.
I could not, for the life of me, save myself from the pit. I was, in fact, throwing more slime on myself, in the pit, believing every lie the enemy of my soul could dish out. This blog is my story of coming out of the pit, by God's hand, and at the GREAT NAME of Jesus Christ.

i. am. come. undone.

a beautiful mess.

God is putting me back together, piece by broken piece, with complete healing in His wings.

I thank you in advance for taking time to read my story of RECLAMATION. By His grace, I WILL POSSESS THE LAND!