this is why i can cry
i still cry during Wall-E. every.time.
i still cry watching Pride and Prejudice...for the umpteenth time. (Oh, and Facing the Giants, too).
i cry during a cheesy, old, love song.
i cry reading missionary biographies.
i cry reading practical Christian living books. (okay...i have even cried reading the descriptions in the Vision Forum catalogue sometimes).
i cry listening to God's Word preached.
i cry reading God's Word.
i cry listening to a friend share her heartache or her deepest joys.
i cry when i think of how loved i am by my husband.
i cry when i realize how loved i am by God, my heavenly Father.
i think you get the picture. i cry. A lot. Tears of sadness, understanding, joy, thankfulness, etc.
BUT....
i also laugh. often. and easily.
i laugh during Wall-E. every.time.
i laugh listening to cheesy, old, love songs (especially when i look at my 13 year old's face).
i laugh reading missionary biographies.
i laugh reading practical Christian living books.
i laugh with joy sometimes when reading God's Word.
i smile from ear-to-ear when worshiping.
i laugh with my friends, at their stories.
i laugh with my husband.
I used to think being this way was a weakness. Now i can see it as simply the way God fashioned and formed me...i am, after all, fearfully and wonderfully made...we all are! (see Psalm 139). i used to think that if i cried when trying to explain a sermon or a song i heard, that i was too emotional, or too weak. I would try to justify my tears, justify my emotions, like i was on trial. Now i can see that it is the way i was wired....The promises of God are precious and true, living and active. i have been rescued from great darkness, and when i hear something that reminds me of the depth of His amazing love, i am still floored.
We are not all wired the same way :) and we don't all respond to things the same. Trust me, i know. i married and Englishman. I am Italian. We are a bit different (~;. But i am done trying to hide my tears when they are flowing. i am embracing how God has made me. He made me an intense person, emotionally. And that is wonderful.
May He use it all to His excellent glory.
I cry a lot too. I never felt crying was good. I had a mom who never cried or laughed (when she was older, I saw her be more emotional, but growing up -- never!) and I had a dad that was absent, so my examples of how to feel was not there. Emotions were bad, in my world. I read a book last year called "FEEL". It is one of the best books I have ever read about emotions. Through God's word and this book, I realize I am not crazy or out of control. I'm just me. Sure we need to check out reactions to things and line up how we think with God's word, but having feelings really is a gift. Some people spend their whole life trying to hide those feelings, but our feelings are our first indications something is wrong or right. If you ever want to borrow that book -- it really helped me. In one part he described how a lot of people say that it was Jesus duty to carry our sins to the cross. His description of how Jesus actually felt really made me think and understand that Jesus felt things too and it was his abundant love that made him carry that cross and die on it, not duty. Anyway, it helped me understand my emotions better. God did make us all different and he surely did not mean for any of us to stuff our feelings or to declare to the world our hatred for everything (lol, I do that sometimes!) but he did mean for us to use our emotions to keep us in check and to understand what God is trying to teach us. Anyway, I think tears cleanse and laughter restores :)
ReplyDelete