A soft answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger...
The heart of the righteous studies how to answer,
But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.
~Proverbs 15:1, 28
What practical wisdom for our daily lives rests in these two verses! Just think of it... In the heat of the moment you respond brashly, quickly, harshly. You say what you never wanted to say. You see the hurt on the other person's face. Once again, you think. I did it once again.
These two verses have hit me hard. How many conflicts could have turned out differently if i had just taken time to study how to answer? How differently could they have turned out if i would have chosen to have a soft answer? This is no easy task, let me be the first one to say it! But the fruit of walking in the wisdom of these verses is almost immeasurable. Let's consider a few benefits of taking our time to respond, and responding softly:
- we honor the Lord. By taking time to think and pray before we respond to things, we honor God. How? Frankly, because we are much less likely to sin in our response. His Holy Spirit will give us wisdom and gentleness if we ask.
- We show respect for the person we are having the confrontation or difference with. By taking time to think, we are showing them that we care about them, and that we don't want to hurt them with our words.
- We can deepen our relationships. By taking time and answering softly, we are showing love for God and for that person. Sometimes when we face a difficult situation, a soft or a harsh answer can be the difference between the relationship surviving or collapsing. Those difficult conversations can be a turning point for deepening the relationship though, because, once again, we show them love by considering how to answer, and by not just spewing out venom.
Left to ourselves, this is nearly impossible to do. But, praise be to God the Father, we are not left to ourselves if we have hidden ourselves in Christ. We have the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit to strengthen us and help us in our time of need.
May we show that we love the Lord, and each other, by taking our time to respond, and by responding with a soft answer.
What I always tell my kids, but preach to myself too is that it is not our job to take revenge or get even with our words (and most of the time, when we answer too quickly it is because we are trying to get even or get back at someone for hurtful words). It is God's job to take revenge or to pay back someone for their misdeeds. Furthermore, we are to love our enemies. So if someone hurts us and we are angry with them, we can view them in a way, as our enemy. If we are to love our enemies, how then should we treat our friends, loved ones, and other Christians? Ugh, that is so hard for me! I have to preach it to myself. I like list of benefits. those are great :)
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. Since i posted this, my tongue has been noticeably short with my kids sometimes. oiy! Always a work.. always dependent on the Lord for strength.
DeleteIt is funny how when you start to really work on something you have been convicted about, you get plenty of opportunities to live it out!! :)