Help for Parents

Who of us doesn't need some encouragement, conviction, and practical help in the area of raising our children? I am one who definitely does.

Right now my husband is reading a great book by Voddie Baucham called Family Shepherds. I, being a bit nosy about what was being said in the book about children, read a fantastic chapter on formative discipline. Mr. Baucham quotes extensively from puritan Cotton Mather's book from 1699 entitiled "A Family Well-Ordered". Let me tell you, it is worth reading that chapter! I found so much practical, scriptural advice. And all of his quotes from Mather? Totally spot on! I don't want to say too much about it, as it would be great for you to discover the beauty of what is written on your own. 

This morning I decided to try to find Mr. Mather's book to purchase. Joy of joys, i found it for FREE online. It is only 31 pages (16 pieces of paper if you print two-sided), and includes and address to parents, AND an address to children. It is my intent to spend time studying and reading, with my Bible right by my side. 

One more thing: Brian and I will also be doing a study on that chapter on formative discipline together, so that we can be on the same page, working in the same direction, using the Scripture to train, teach, and correct our four beautiful children. 

{note: We do use the Bible in our parenting, often! The way Mr. Baucham writes about how to use it has given me new ideas and ways to incorporate it in our day.} 

All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for

 teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in 

righteousness;

2 Timothy 3:16

Journals

Despair.
Gloom.
Depression.
Rejection.
Oppression.
Abuse.
Guilt.
Shame.
Manipulation.
Emotionally Driven.
Anger.
Death.

All of those words describe my many journals from the past. This weekend i was going through a box. A box of memories. Some not so pleasant. I found a letter. A letter that forever changed me, and not for the better. A letter that reminded me that i didn't make up things in my past. A letter that showed me how lost i was, and how abandoned i was in the hours i needed protection the most. A letter that put into high-gear the rebellion that was silently, stealthily, growing. A letter. Words. Words that killed the spirit of a 14 year old girl.

Then,

I found journals from when i was in my early 20's. Cries of desperation to God, praises for apparent change (due to my own efforts), and then a deeper plunge into the dark pit. Oh, how my heart broke for this woman. This woman who thought for so long that the cross of Christ wasn't enough. For this woman who thought that she had to earn love and acceptance from God, and that every sin she committed caused her to lose her salvation. Then, if she repented enough and cried out enough, she would be saved....again.
O, my heart broke. broke for the lies that she had believed, for the truth she was not told, for the "works" she performed in hopes of being free, for the times she went to "prayer sessions" to be free, for the fear she lived in every minute of every day. This woman was bound in sin and by the fear of man.

As i read, i couldn't help contrast how different things are today. Today. O glorious today. 

Today. Today i am growing. Today i am learning to lean in to Christ as the All Sufficient One. I have learned to let go of the fear of man (it is still a battle some days, but it no longer controls me). Today i am being challenged to grow in the Word, to rest in the gospel, to put on the armor of God.  Through intense Biblical Discipleship and the tender care of our Pastor, God has transformed my life (and He continues to).

I look back on my journals, and wish that someone would have taught me these truths long ago. I cannot go back in time. I can only move forward, with my eyes fixed on Christ. I now see that i can do NOTHING to add to what Christ has done at Calvary for me, a wretched sinner. I now see that i am loved by God more that i ever deserve, because of what Christ has done. I now see that my salvation is SECURE! I am safe in Christ! No one can snatch me out of His amazing, nail-scarred hands. No one. For those scars were for me, for my sin, so that i could be reconciled to God and have eternity with Him to sing His glorious praise!

The Gift of Photographs

Today i was given a beautiful gift in the mail. My Grandpop made copies of some old photographs that i had asked for. There were five 8x10's, and a couple 3x5's (that i had NEVER seen!) in the envelope. As i opened them, i caught my breath. A beautiful picture of my Dad in his Marines uniform. Wow.

There was a picture of my Mom and Dad's wedding day. They looked so happy. How quickly that faded....

There was a picture of my great-grandparents who came over from Sicily. precious.

A picture of my great-grandpop in his Italian WWI uniform. amazing!

There was  small picture of my Dad as a baby that i had never seen, as well as a picture of my Dad and his brother, my Uncle Mike, as young boys. They were 4 years apart, my Dad being the oldest.

I had a tear or two in my eyes, but more than anything, i was filled with gratefulness for this precious gift. A gift that will continue to give for my lifetime.

Remembering

Remembering my Dad, Benjamin John Piazza, today in a couple pictures...

circa 1948 in Phili

mid-80's

1985 in Jersey for a wedding. I was there for the summer, and he came out and flew home with me after the wedding of Uncle Frank.

circa 1977?
my dad and i in Jersey :)

2010 in Jersey
My Dad ~ Ben, Uncle Mike, Grandpop, Uncle Frank, & Uncle John

Courageous Roots

We have recently returned from a wonderful family vacation. We were in my husband's home state, and then we continued on after several nights to my Dad's home state, New Jersey. This was a bitter-sweet trip for me, as my Dad passed away January 25th of this year, and we were staying with my Grandpop, his dad. It was wonderful to be surrounded by family, and to be loved and supported by them.

One highlight for me was listening to my Grandpop's stories from when he was younger. He talked of his mother often. I could hear the love he had for her in his voice. One point of contention for him and his siblings seems to be that their parents would not speak English. My great-grandfather immigrated from Sicily in 1921 i think. One and a half years later, my great-grandmother and her 3 year old son immegrated and joined him... Sebastiano, then Marianna with little Giuseppi (or Joseph). Even though they clung to the ways of the old country, my Grandpop still had love and affection for his mother.

a picture of my great grandmum & my dad in Phili.

Great Grandmum. I am inspired by her courage. She was so tired of the warring and fighting. She did not want to lose anyone to wars. Her husband had served in WWI in the Italian Army. She wanted to leave Sicily and come to America. So, they did! They left all they knew, to come to a new country. At that time, our country DID NOT give the immigrants anything. They came with all they owned or could carry across they sea. They then had to find work and housing. They could only come by being sponsored by someone here in the U.S. Thus, Sebastiano was sponsored by an uncle (or cousin??) that was here. He then had to PROVE that he could support his wife and son before they were able to come. Once done, they came and made a new life here. They landed in Philidelphia and were a part of the large community of Italians, which was know as 'Little Italy'. There are so many stories that my Grandpop told of life then! What stands out in my mind is the courage it took for them to leave home and come start all over again in a new country. My great-grandmother was a woman of courage and stamina. She gave her life to serve her husband and her children. That was what she did. She raised her family. She served her husband. She did all this in a new country, not knowing the language.

Listening to the stories of the various women in the family, from my great grandmum, to my great aunt, to my grandmum, i realized one common thing... they served. They served their families. That was priority. Everything else came second to that one thing. I needed to be reminded of that. I needed to hear the stories. I needed to take courage and embrace serving my family with the same passion. And i serve my family, my husband and kids, to the glory of our great and awesome God.

I am ever thankful for this trip. It reminded me of my roots. It showed me my heritage (my earthly heritage). It inspired me to serve my husband and children, for God's glory, with all my heart. Is it easy? No. Is it supposed to be? I don't think so. But, i DO know, that with God's strength, all things are possible!

4 Little Letters

What is it that we all really, really want? That we all really, really long for?

my guess?

love.

That one, simple complicated little word.

Love.

If we are honest, we have all been disappointed with love at one time or another. Those 4 little letters put together can cause so much pain.

But ~

Maybe we don't truly know what love is.

Maybe we were made to learn to love from a different Source.

I mean,
we look to Hollywood for what romatic love looks like. we look to wholesome novels (think Little Women) for what familial love looks like. We look to other books, or television shows to see what friendship-love looks like.

What if....
just what would happen if....

We looked to the Author of love for what love really means?

1 John 4:7-11 says Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.  He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.  In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

I don't know about you, but i need to learn love from God. to rest in His love for me. His perfect, self-sacrificing, tender love for me. I need to give that love to others. The love with which i have been loved. Give  it away freely.

Is there someone in your life who you just wish would love you? Is there an ache there? Let our amazing God of perfect love come to that place. Let Him love you. He will love you for you... not for what you have or have not done. Not for what you have or haven't said. No. He loves YOU for YOU. He looks at you and He loves you.

No,
not the Hollywood love. not the love of novels. not the love we see on the television. not a love based on feelings.

But He loves you. deeply. He loves me. completely.
He loves us according to The Book.

The Bible.

Take a look inside, and see the greatest love of all on display.

facebook?

Today I am facebook-less for the first time in....about 8 years?? Well, my husband and i got on way back when you had to be invited by a college person. So, yeah. been a long time.

On Sunday, Mother's Day, our Pastor, Dr. Jeff Rich, preached on The High Calling of Motherhood (click to listen). But it wasn't just your run-of-the-mill Mother's Day sermon. Nope. It was encouraging, yes. But also, it was challenging and convicting. Not just for the mom's either. I think a few of the men walked away challenged. And the children heard what the Bible calls a mother to be. I walked away remembering why I do what I do, and Who i do it for...God. And i realized that i am not giving my best. I get irritated if i am on facebook and they interrupt me (how dare they!). I get irritated when they ask me a question and i just don't feel like answering. i get irritated when i am folding laundry and they want my attention. i get irritated when they want my attention..........on and on and on and on.........

After church, we had company over. It was a beautiful day. Once things got quiet again in the evening, i had some time to myself (in a corner of the living room). So many things were running through my mind. I realized that i had things that were distracting me from what was really important (being fully present with my husband/children). One of those things was facebook. I have tried in the past to limit my time, not go on for days, etc., yet i always was wondering "what is going on in facebookland?"  With that thought in the back of my mind, was i really free of facebook? NOPE. It STILL distracted me. I long for freedom from this. This is one of the reasons i decided to unplug from social media.

Another reason i have decided to unplug is due to the fact that i am simply walking through some pretty tough stuff since my Dad passed away. I need time and space to process. There have been times that i would have loved to have spent reading the Bible, or other books i have been given (assigned!) to read, but i got distracted by "just checking fb for a minute  few minutes (like 30!)..."

Yet another reason i am unplugging is simply that i want to be so hidden in Christ that I don't get sucked into the comparison game that inevitably happens on facebook (which, by the way, aren't really worth doing!). You know what i am talking about:  the vacations you can't afford, the meals you don't know how to cook, the perfect children, the perfect date night, the perfect friendships, feeling left out of certain things... yadda yadda yadda.  I know that not everyone struggles with these things. I know that some people are as real as real can be there. They are a breath of fresh air!

Not everyone struggles with facebook the way i have over the years. I understand that. I also know that facebook can be a fantastic tool. I am thankful for a sister in Christ that i met through facebook, who lives on the west coast. I would have never met her were it not for fb. And now that i am not on it, we will actually write......letters!!! gasp!  So, yes, i DO know that good things go on and can happen on facebook :).

My goal is to focus on the things that are really important. My relationship with the Lord. My husband. My precious children, which are a gift from God. My friendships. I very well may get on facebook again, but it won't be until i know that my identity, confidence, and hope is in Christ alone, and that NOTHING can distract me from those things.

taking of some masks and gettin' real here. hope some of this made sense!!

Momma

Magdalene has started a silly saying around here: "Don't mess with Momma!" I wonder if this had anything to do with it?

One Fun Dad

With Father's Day coming up, i thought this photo captured the fun our kids have with their Daddy. We were at Fort Snelling for World War II Days, and we had just watched a Swing Dance demo. After a while, we were waiting for the Gun Firing demo, and Gracie wanted to Swing Dance with her Dad. In front of countless people, he did it.

One of the many things i love about my man. He lives in the moment, savoring an opportunity to make a priceless memory with one of his children.

my Sis and Me

This is from our cookie bake this weekend. Had SO much fun with my Family... Mom (Pam), Shelli (sis) & Tim, and Amber, Kelsey, Sha, Dakota, Parker, and all my kiddos: Hudson, Jeremiah, Magdalene, and Grace. 


Goes down in history as just one of the BEST! seriously ;-)