Song of Encouragement

Love this song by Sara Groves!
I am so thankful for the community of Believers that have encouraged me during a very difficult year.

Kindred Hearts & Ties that Bind

I am so very thankful for all the kindred hearts at our church. God has abundantly blessed us there, with beautiful relationships that are centered on His Gospel. Thank you, Grace Community Bible Church, for being real and for being so focused on Christ.


 

4 Little Letters

What is it that we all really, really want? That we all really, really long for?

my guess?

love.

That one, simple complicated little word.

Love.

If we are honest, we have all been disappointed with love at one time or another. Those 4 little letters put together can cause so much pain.

But ~

Maybe we don't truly know what love is.

Maybe we were made to learn to love from a different Source.

I mean,
we look to Hollywood for what romatic love looks like. we look to wholesome novels (think Little Women) for what familial love looks like. We look to other books, or television shows to see what friendship-love looks like.

What if....
just what would happen if....

We looked to the Author of love for what love really means?

1 John 4:7-11 says Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.  He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.  In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

I don't know about you, but i need to learn love from God. to rest in His love for me. His perfect, self-sacrificing, tender love for me. I need to give that love to others. The love with which i have been loved. Give  it away freely.

Is there someone in your life who you just wish would love you? Is there an ache there? Let our amazing God of perfect love come to that place. Let Him love you. He will love you for you... not for what you have or have not done. Not for what you have or haven't said. No. He loves YOU for YOU. He looks at you and He loves you.

No,
not the Hollywood love. not the love of novels. not the love we see on the television. not a love based on feelings.

But He loves you. deeply. He loves me. completely.
He loves us according to The Book.

The Bible.

Take a look inside, and see the greatest love of all on display.

Living Love Together

Friendship.
That can be a loaded word.
Good memories, bad memories.
Having friends. Not having friends. not having as many friends as we want to have. not having our friends do what we want them to do, be what we want them to be, or say what we want them to say.
Not being a good friend.

What if friendship is more than we have thought or experienced?

Christ says in John 15, to His friends (and us),  that He has loved us with the love that the Father has loved Him with. Take a second to think that one through. The Father loves the Son perfectly. He loves Him without fear, without reservation,  without thinking of His own needs first.

This is the love that Christ loves us with. He loves us perfectly. He loves us without fear, without reservation, without thinking of His own needs first.

but wait...

Christ commands us in John 15:12-14 ~  This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 

He tells us to love each other the way that He loves us. He doesn't command us to love the way we have been loved by our parents, or our siblings (if you even have one), or our friends. NO. He tells us to love each other the way HE loved us.

okay.

this is a whole new way of thinking. 

We must look to the Author of love, to learn how to love. Our Pastor, Dr. Jeff Rich,  preached a wonderful sermon on this last Sunday. I believe it is a message for The Church at large, and not just for our local church. You can listen below... some of the thoughts in this are from that sermon.

Christ loved deeply. He loved fully. He loved sacrificially. He loved freely. And He says that we are His friends if we do what He has commanded. Have we realized that He wouldn't have needed to command us to love each other if it was easy? hmmm.

I am really thinking about how we tend to view friendship. We tend to use the world's measuring stick, don't we? You have me over, i have you over. You scratch my back, i scratch yours. But what happens when we do something for someone, and they can't do it in return?  We tend to react like the world. ouch.

Christ calls us to love each other, not as the world loves, but as HE has loved us. He gave everything, even His life. Are we willing to die for each other? Are we willing to die to ourselves in order to love each other? One thing i think we forget, is that the world is watching us, Christian. They are watching how we love each other. They are watching when we complain about love costing us something. They are watching what we post on facebook.  They are looking to see if we really are different. Are they seeing a difference? i am asking myself this question. 

So, how do we love each other in friendship, the way Christ loves us? First, we have to be so confident in Christ's redeeming love for us, so hid in Christ, that we are doing things for others out of the overflow of love with which we have been loved (not out of a place of fear, or so that we can get something in return).

Next, we have to give that love to each other. freely.

what does that look like? I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Here are some things i have thought of, on how we can practically live this out (no, it isn't always easy):

• bring a meal to a person who isn't well
• send a note of encouragement (snail mail)
• have someone from church over for a meal (make a new friend!)
• be available to listen when a friend is hurting
• pray for each other
• do fun stuff together
• be accountable for Bible reading 
• meet someone for coffee
• offer to help in some way
• show up... be there. It is hard to grow friendships in church if we don't take the time to consistently show up.
• don't hold on to offenses 
• be quick to forgive
• speak the Truth in love
• share your story (as scary as it is sometimes)
• be willing to be messy with each other
• take off the masks
• cry with each other
• laugh with each other
• sing together :)

This is a hard command, but one that we can fulfill if we are committed to Christ! His Holy Spirit will empower us to love each other, as we have been loved by Christ! 

We are in this together, working it out as we go :)

I have a long way to go with this, for sure. These are my initial thoughts as i have thought about the sermon on loving each other. We are human, and will love imperfectly, thus the need to be quick to forgive. Yet, we CAN love. I know i am thankful for all the friends who love me in the good and in the messy :)

I welcome your thoughtful comments, to make this a conversation :)

Victory

pic taken with flash

February 25-26, 2011 marks the weekend that i was given this beautiful glass piece by a sweet friend. I attended a conference (i am not a conf. junkie, so it was a rare event for me) put on by a church in Hudson, WI. There were two beautiful women, Carla and Kristi, who talked to me about it, friends on facebook and through the bloggy-world. At this conference i would get to meet them for the first time, and what a meeting it was! When i was given this sun-catcher, made by Kristi, i was floored. The conference hadn't even started yet, and i was in tears. I went to that place broken crushed and undone. My life was a mess. It was literally my last effort at keeping my life together.  These women knew what had been happening, and i believe they prayed me there! Kristi handed me the package, and simply said, "Victory". Little did i know just how much victory would be mine as a result of the Word of God sung by Sara Groves, the Word of God taught by Susie Larson, and the prayers of so many on my behalf. That weekend literally changed my life. God restored me, emotionally and spiritually. I left that place Saturday afternoon a different person... i was FREE. I had HOPE. God had brought about VICTORY.  I am celebrating the awesome work God did then, and continues to do now.

Things did not magically get better in my life. I still had difficulties to walk and work through, but i knew i was no longer alone. I knew that God had a purpose for me. I knew that God was carrying me tenderly in His amazing arms.

This past autumn and winter have been difficult in many ways, including the death of my earthly dad, Ben, on January 25th. Through it all, i have learned to lean in closer to my God, to my Jesus. I have learned to focus on Christ...to keep my eyes fixed on Christ. I have learned to praise Him in the midst of some of the deepest pain i have gone through in my life, for He is worthy. I have learned to allow myself to be loved. Loved by God in Christ, and loved by others. Love without fear.

I have learned to do battle from a place of victory, as the enemy is defeated in the end.

All in all, that one little word, spoken almost 2 years ago now, has changed me. It has become my reality. VICTORY.... IN JESUS!  Victory..... in the cross of Christ. VICTORY!

This precious gift hangs in my kitchen window. It is stunning as it catches the light, and makes little rainbows in my kitchen. And when i see it...it reminds me of all that God has freed me from,  and of all the promises of God that are mine in Christ.

Thank you, Kristi, for such a precious gift in that one word, and for the physical reminder of it.  

w/o flash

**There are many who have prayed with/for me through the years... thank you to all of you. God is faithful.

The Story...Part 4

Sometimes i am just not sure where to start when typing out The Story here. It is so much easier to SAY it, ya know? Here i go though...

Back in December, i went to Carla's blog. She and Kristi have been "bloggy-friends" of mine for a few years. And they are like, good buds, so it was great to connect with them. SO LOVING!! Anyway, i had not been to Carla's blog for a LONG time! Her blog is usually pretty funny, and it is always good for a chuckle (as is Kristi's). i was surprised when her page came up. It was a serious post. She was telling her story. i started reading at part 6, i think. i found myself crying. i went down further in the blog, to read the rest of her story. wow. Similarities much?? She and i started communicating via email, and little did i know how much that would mean to me in a few weeks.

Also, during the months of Nov/Dec, some songs started getting a lot more radio play on PraiseFM, or i just started finally "hearing" them. One was byjj heller called "What Love Really Means". Go ahead a click on link and listen to the song as you read the lyrics.

He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said
“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
lyrics by jj and dave heller

I started hearing this song multiple times in a day. Once i figured out the lyrics (didn't take long) i started singing with it, and, i started crying. Every. Time. i. Heard. It. Something was happening inside of me. I realized that i wanted to be loved just for who i was. i was that child in the corner. i lived in fear that i would be the woman in the office, though my husband gave me no reason to fear. It was my own insecurities and feelings of worthlessness that brought that fear up...constantly. i thought i was too fat, ugly, fat, messy, fat, crazy, fat. You get it. Thought he deserved better than me, and i lived in the terror that one day, he would find someone better than me. You must know that my husband affirmed me in every way. He truly loved me, and loves me today. This was all my "baggage" that i projected onto him.

When the song got to the part that it was the Lord speaking to the prisoner, i would bawl. i mean, SOB! Could He really give me the love that i had never known? Was i willing to let go of all my fears and pain, and trust Him. Not yet. There is a strange comfort in pain.

I got curious about who this jj heller was. I went to youtube and found more songs, more truths from God's Word. More pain being uncovered as i listened. "Your Hands" was amazing for me in the month of December. Again, little did i know just how important the truths in this song would be for me to cling to.

Mid-December brought about a major crisis in my life. No details will be given, as it is enough to know that my world was shaken, and i knew i had to change some significant things. I contacted, via email, Carla, asking her some tough questions about what i knew i needed to do. Setting boundries is easy to talk about; very difficult to enact. i needed support. i wasn't sure how to reconcile it with my faith. What i received was loving encouragement to get healthy for my husband and kids. To end the crazy cycles i had allowed myself to live with. To create a "safety zone" around myself.  Now, the lyrics to the song "Your Hands" became my lifeline. i clung to them with all i had, as my entire world was being ripped apart. Here are the lyrics to that beautiful song. Strangely enough, this song was born out of a time when jj heller herself was having anxiety and panic attacks. God held me up with these words:

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That you would take my pain away
You would take my pain awayI am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crooked lieOh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mineWhen my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your handsWhen you walked upon the earth
You healed the broken, lost and hurt
I know you hate to see me cry
One day you will set all things rightYeah, one day you will set all things right

When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands

Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still
(bold emphasis mine...those are the parts that just held me...and broke me at the same time!)

So, now it is late December/early January. Suffice it to say that i had been having mini-breakdowns regularily.  Our children saw their mommy crying often. They saw her yelling, screaming, slamming doors. They saw me out-of-control. I would always be able to pull myself up though, and put on a good show for another week, til the next mini-meltdown. Only a few people knew what was going on, and i was isolating myself more and more. All the while, i was still listening to music, trying to do what was "right". i put on a GREAT ACT!

One of the discs i was listening to was by Sara Groves. Yes, she has basically taken what was inside me and sang it for all the world to hear! Her music has had a profound impact on me. She is very real and authentic, which is why i believe her music touches so many. Anyway, i posted one of her songs on fb that had really been speaking to me. My friend Kristi told me that she could tell i really liked Sara, and that she was doing a concert at this women's conference in late February at her church...i should go.  Now, a little background here: i had looked at Sara's page for her Christmas concert schedule and had seen this conference listed, and i had a pretty good feeling it was at Carla and Kristi's church in Hudson. It was for women only, so i dismissed it, because i was looking for something the hubby and i could go to. That was early December. See how God is putting pieces together already?

So Kristi invites me to this conference. The name of the conference....RESTORE. Can you see God's fingerprints all over this?? i called my husband, and he was like YESSSSSS! GOOOO!!! So i ordered my ticket. i think that the second i pressed "confirm", God gave the enemy of my soul permission to sift me. Satan has to go through God to get to His children, and i believe that satan had to go through God to get to me.

Now, Kristi had no idea how her one act of obedience in asking me to go to the conference, would be THE thing that God used to bring a COMPLETE healing in my life. When you are prompted by God, OBEY. Kristi did, and God changed my life.

more to come...