quiet

it has been quiet here.
for sure.

but, it has NOT been quiet in life.
for sure.

so often i long for space.
time.
quiet.

to sit.
think.
write.
process.

but i have to do those things
surrounded by noise.

it is mostly a good noise.
the noise of a busy home.
children learning.
growing.
changing.

and so,
it may be quiet here.
at least for longer periods of time
than i may desire.

but know that
i, too, am thinking.
learning.
growing.
processing.

and some day
it may spill over
here.
some day.

Why Write?

photo credit

To Write, or Not to Write? THAT is the question!

I love writing. I have my own way of doing it. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, yet it is a place for me to process the world. I write mostly in my journals. Sometimes it spills over here. I find writing privately certainly helps me figure out what i should and /or should NOT say publicly! Not every detail of life needs to be put here for the world to see. 

Suffice it to say that i have my fair share of trials and challenges. I also know that i have a Saviour who is faithful and who will never leave me or forsake me...ever.  I also have a deep well of joy that is not based on my circumstances, but is based on every promise of God's Word. 

I would like to write here more. I try to carve out time, yet it gets taken up with something else. My hope is to be able to write more of my thoughts here, as i think on and apply the Word to life in the here-and-now.  

for now, i end up quoting other people or posting songs that are encouraging and challenging to me. 

hopefully i will be able to have some more time to write as school winds down. 

(:

What Comes After....

Light after Darkness

By Frances Ridley Havergal

Light after darkness, gain after loss,
Strength after weakness, crown after cross;
Sweet after bitter, hope after fears,
Home after wandering, praise after tears.

Sheaves after sowing, sun after rain,
Sight after mystery, peace after pain;
Joy after sorrow, calm after blast,
Rest after weariness, sweet rest at last.

Near after distant, gleam after gloom,
Love after loneliness, life after tomb;
After long agony, rapture of bliss,
Right was the pathway, leading to this.

Confused?

I have a very confused flower in my garden. It is a beautiful Iris. It bloomed wonderfully for me in May, and has now decided to grace us with beautiful blooms at the end of.... October!

We have had a freakishly warm October, and it is certainly confusing some little plants :).

Since this picture was taken, the flower has had 2 beautiful blooms open up fully, which then were used to grace the inside of our home! Now, there are 2 more blooms ready to go !! 

So grateful for simple pleasures, like an Iris blooming unexpectedly. 

Happy Consequences -or- A Disposition of Gratitude

Gratitude: The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
Disposition: A person's inherent qualities of mind and character. (thanks, google, for simple definitions.)

I am generally a grateful person. At times, i fail, as we all do. I grumble and complain that i don't have this and that. I look at what others have that i don't, and get grumpy. I can pout. i know, shocking! ;)

I notice that i can get less and less thankful for what i DO have, and more and more hungry for the things this world tells me i need. When that starts to happen, i also lose sight of the "good" in my life, as i am so focused on the negatives. I begin to major on the minors, if you know what i mean. Suddenly, the faucet in my bathroom looks ugly, because....didn't you see that really cool one in the magazine? Suddenly my closet seems to have nothing in it (when in all actuality, my closet is bursting with clothes), because....didn't you see all those really nice, new clothes at the store (and i ain't talkin' 'bout the thrift store).
NOTE: I am a very thrifty shopper and do enjoy thrift stores!! Sometimes though...

Do you see what happens so quickly? We get our eyes off of Christ, and onto the things of this world, and we get hooked. We get ensnared. We can grow a love in our hearts for this world that surpasses our love of Christ, which is idolatry by the way.

How do we combat this?

The most important way is by renewing our minds in the Word of God. We are to fix our eyes on Christ, and one great way of doing that is starting the day with a time of Scripture reading.  I have been camped out in the Epistles lately. Man! That will give you some serious perspective!
Philippians 4:11-13 says,

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Another way is to study in Scripture what we are to "put off" and "put on". We are to put off discontentment and covetousness, and put on contentment.  We are to put off enviousness and put on the quality of rejoicing with others.

I saw this card with a friend, and purchased it. it says
Happy Birthday on top. This card captures how i
want to live my life: FREE and full of joy in
Christ, with hands opened and eyes to Him.

A great way to develop contentedness and gratefulness is with a list. This past weekend, i had one of many great conversations with a dear friend. I had asked her what all the journals were that she kept (there were four of them!). One caught my attention: it was a journal for her to list the good things in her life, and the things she was grateful for. I was honest enough to say that i just hadn't done that since it seemed to be so "trendy" for a while. Yet, when she was sharing her heart behind why she does it, something clicked. I realized that there are so many good things in my life, and that writing them down would help me to remember. To remember God's goodness, provision, blessing, help, and strength. To see just how many good things there are on any given day. I have begun my own little book, and i am calling it: Good Things -or- A Disposition of Gratitude: A Journal. It has been a most excellent exercise. Today was my 2nd day writing in it, and it was already a beautiful thing to look back over yesterday's entries.
Here are just a few things in it:

• a walk in the crisp Autumn air as the world wakes up.
• friends around our table for food and fellowship.
• our space heater!
• flowers (roses, gaillardia, tall asters, daisies, ring flowers) in the house from my garden in mid-October.
• lego creations from scratch.
• music! music! music! 
• salvation.
• my Bible
• the book of Proverbs
• a long conversation and prayer with a child: difficult and beautiful at the same time.
• walks with my husband.
• laughter. 
• sunshine and a friend.
• a new kitchen timer.

Today, i took my kids to the Dollar Tree and had them each pick out a little notebook. I bought new pens. We took them home and then i explained what they were for. I had them each start their own Good Things, or gratefulness journal. One of my kids called theirs "Good Things or Happy Consequences". We keep them in a little basket in the living room so that they don't get lost, and so they can fill them in any time they want. They keep their new pens with the journals. I think it will be a treasure to them in months to come, as they remember all the "little" things, and the not-so-little things. 

Happy Consequences. Just makes my heart smile.

I Am Like A Puddle

puddle on Lake Superior rock

I am like a puddle. 

Here for a short time.

Slowly fading. 

Hopefully, reflecting the Son

as His light shines on me.

On my own i am nothing. 

Christ must be everything.

The One who fills me,

Who sustains me,

Who loves me.

I am like a puddle. 

Like a flower, 

Here for a short time.

This vapor of a life.

For His glory alone. 

Just Think!

Take a few minutes to think of where these flowers are growing, and blooming, and THRIVING.

What are your thoughts as you consider this? Let's get a conversation going in the comments :).

Hot! Hot! HOT!

We really like habanero peppers. Well, actually, we like to torture ourselves with hot foods. That being said, i grew habaneros again this year. they are one of the hottest in the chili pepper family. 

Yesterday i was slicing my peppers in half so that i could dry them in the oven. Like a good hot-pepper-cutter, i wore gloves. You know? the yellow kitchen gloves that are good for everything? 

The peppers were all halved and put on the parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Popped them in the oven, washed off the gloves, took them off, and went on with my day. 

Awhile later, my son was talking to me. I rubbed my eye with my finger, and BAM!!! Burn, baby, burn!!! My eye was on FIRE! The capsaicin from the blasted habanero went THROUGH my glove!!!!!!!! 

After a few minutes of furiously blinking, the pain started to subside. Poor Jey was standing at the sink with me saying, "I sure hope you feel better mom..." over and over. 

i don't even want to think of what would have happened if i hadn't had gloves on! 

The happy ending: the peppers are all dried now and ready for use at a later date!! 

Real love. Really.

What is in there?

a question i am asking myself. What is in there? Well, where, exactly, you may be wondering?

each of these rocks has been collected over the years

answer:

my heart.

honestly, i don't like what i am seeing.

first, let me say that i love the Lord Jesus. He has redeemed my life from the pit. HE has purchased me with His own blood, that i might be made righteous. Amazing grace has truly saved a wretch like me. Because of the high price that was paid for me, i see even the smallest of offences as equal to the most heinous of sins. Sin. black, disgusting sin. Sin that my Saviour died for. My sin, that caused my Saviour to drink the cup of the wrath of God on my behalf, so that I might have HIS righteousness imputed to me. Incomprehensible. Humbling.

on a day to day basis, within the walls of my home, so much of what is in my heart comes out: a snappy reply, an exasperated sigh, a grumpy greeting, a "don't talk to me right now, or else" look. ouch.  When i am with others, i can kick in to my "self-preservation" mode pretty quickly: fear of what others think of me, fear that i may offend in some way, fear of not being "enough" for others... really just a bunch of self-centeredness! double-ouch. 

my own selfishness disgusts me. my husband works hard all day, and comes home to me not having even given much any thought to dinner. I claim i was too busy, too tired, too ______. Hmmm. he is tired too. he is busy too. he has had to fight battles all day at work, yet i claim i am too tired to make dinner. Lord, have mercy on me... a sinner. Yes, i have battles during the day. Homeschooling 3 of our kids definitely brings about some battles. But if i am completely honest, i do have time to make dinner. i do have time to get the house tidy, with the kids' help.  i DO have time. i obviously have time, since i am sitting here composing this post!!

i am not hopeless though. Our faithful God uses the challenges of my day to work His sanctification in me. I am seeing that i am in need. i am seeing that time in the Word is not something that can be compromised in my day, so that i can do other things. I am seeing that i am ever in need of grace.

if you are seeing an area in your own heart that needs cleansing, don't delay! Forgiveness awaits in the bountiful arms of our Great God, through our great Saviour, Jesus Christ!

Marvelous grace of our loving Lord, 

Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!

Yonder on Calvary's mount outpoured, 

There where the blood of the Lamb was spilled.

Grace, grace, God's grace, 

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God's grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!

Sin and despair, like the sea waves cold, 

Threaten the soul with infinite loss;

Grace that is greater, yes, grace untold,

Points to the refuge, the mighty cross.

Grace, grace, God's grace, 

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God's grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!

Dark is the stain that we cannot hide.
What can avail to wash it away?

Look! There is flowing a crimson tide,

Brighter than snow you may be today.

Grace, grace, God's grace, 

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God's grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!

Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,

Freely bestowed on all who believe!

You that are longing to see His face,

Will you this moment His grace receive?

Grace, grace, God's grace, 

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God's grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!

~Julia H. Johnston

Pure Love...whoa.

The goodness of human love is taken for granted

We turn it into a lust that tears us apart

We give up God's gifts for dust and ashes

And blame him for the pain growing in our hearts

~Sara Groves from the song Song of Solomon

Was walking the dogs when this song came on my nano. i was thunder-struck by the line: "We give up God's gifts for dust and ashes, and blame him for the pain growing in our hearts." It almost hurt to hear it. it forced me to look and question if i have given up any of God's gifts, for things that will fade away.... My answer was troubling. 

yes. i have. many times.

i have given up the wonderful gifts He has given me. i have forfeited true, real, lasting peace by not turning to Jesus, but turning to shopping or food to fill my ache. doesn't work. the guilt i feel afterwards is awful. is it worth it? no. i feel just as empty and restless as i did before, with added guilt. great.

there are many other things that i could list, but won't. you get the picture. the chorus of the song goes:

Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own

I was reminded of just how amazing God's love is for me. For my children. Reminded of how PURE His love is. i cannot grasp it in my finite mind. a pure love. no ulterior motive. no perversion in it. unadulterated. not jaded. not a love that gives something in order to get something. PURE love. Pure. His love is so much purer than mine. Thank You, Jesus!

And in remembering, i realize that i truly want to embrace the gifts that He given me...

And through it all, in my imperfections, He loves me. and i am NEVER FORSAKEN!

(I didn't meant to highlight the txt...sorry!!)

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!! 

we had a wonderful season of remembering our Lord's coming: His birth, life, death, and resurrection. 

During the break from school, my 2nd grader, Magdalene, let us know that she wants to be homeschooled next year! wow... i truly wasn't ready for that, though i DID sense some stress for her at school. We talked about it, and now next school year i will be homeschooling a 7th, 4th, & 3rd grader! whoa... i can't believe i just wrote that. and i am so confident that this is what God desires for us. to have Maddie ask,well, that HAD to be the Lord directing! 

i am actually LOOKING FORWARD to it, even though i know that it means a bit more work on my end. God will strengthen me; He will uphold me. 

I BELIEVE! 

As i have committed to knowing Him better, He is making so many things so clear. i PRAISE Him for His goodness. For the Word...The Bible. For how He speaks through it..

Looking forward with HOPE and PEACE this year :)

~jeanette

Sometimes...

in my last post i talked about standing strong. can i just say that sometimes it is HARD to Stand Strong?

Things happen. Life goes on. Things are said. And yet, we are to Stand Strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. How are we to react/respond when tempted to give-up? We are to press on. Let His joy be our strength, as in the book of Nehemiah "The joy of the Lord is your strength".  What about when we fall, and we haven't stood strong? We can confess our sins, and He who has called us is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins.  What aobut when we are faced with slanderers/deceivers? There is anger that rises up within us when slander happens. And yet, we are to forebear. Confront if we can with love and boldness, but if we can't...forebear, knowing that Christ is the Defender of our Soul. He is the Just Judge.

For me, i know that i need to be walking in the fruit of the Spirit..love, joy, PEACE, patience, gentleness, goodness, self-control, in the power of HIS might. It is in my weakness that His strength is perfected.

Self Control. Standing Strong, by NOT giving in to what we would REALLY like to do, or say. Standing Strong by confessing when we have fallen, and receiving the forgiveness that was already purchased for us at the cross. Standing Strong when words are said against us that are untrue.

OIY. Lord, right now i need Your strength to make me be able to Stand Strong. You alone are my Refuge. My Defender. My Shield. Blessed be Your awesome name.
~Amen.

Hopefully this made some sense... :)