Help for Parents

Who of us doesn't need some encouragement, conviction, and practical help in the area of raising our children? I am one who definitely does.

Right now my husband is reading a great book by Voddie Baucham called Family Shepherds. I, being a bit nosy about what was being said in the book about children, read a fantastic chapter on formative discipline. Mr. Baucham quotes extensively from puritan Cotton Mather's book from 1699 entitiled "A Family Well-Ordered". Let me tell you, it is worth reading that chapter! I found so much practical, scriptural advice. And all of his quotes from Mather? Totally spot on! I don't want to say too much about it, as it would be great for you to discover the beauty of what is written on your own. 

This morning I decided to try to find Mr. Mather's book to purchase. Joy of joys, i found it for FREE online. It is only 31 pages (16 pieces of paper if you print two-sided), and includes and address to parents, AND an address to children. It is my intent to spend time studying and reading, with my Bible right by my side. 

One more thing: Brian and I will also be doing a study on that chapter on formative discipline together, so that we can be on the same page, working in the same direction, using the Scripture to train, teach, and correct our four beautiful children. 

{note: We do use the Bible in our parenting, often! The way Mr. Baucham writes about how to use it has given me new ideas and ways to incorporate it in our day.} 

All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for

 teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in 

righteousness;

2 Timothy 3:16

Rough and Heavy Crosses

At the end of November I mentioned that we would be considering what it means to take up our cross, and follow in the steps of Christ. You can find the post here. This is the quote that started me thinking:

"Our Christianity loves its ease and comforts too well to take up anything so rough and heavy as a cross. And yet, what does Jesus mean? What is it to walk in His steps?"               ~Charles Sheldon, In His Steps pg. 189 

I have been thinking about this for a long time now. Finally, i am able to get some thoughts down! I understand that each of us have different "crosses" that we carry, yet we also share many that are similar. Many of us,if not all, have walked through the loss of a loved one, and all the situations surrounding that. We have to grieve the physical loss. Most have struggled in relationships with others. Some have parental relationships that are difficult and/or strained. We deal with sadness. We wonder what God wants us to do next? He has possibly burdened your heart for a land you may never get to go to. We walk through difficulties with our children, our spouses, our friends. So, while we all have different crosses, we all also have many that are the same.

I have learned that, though the pain of the cross is hard, the suffering seems unbearable at times, that God is using these things in my life to transform me to the image of His Son.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; Romans 8:28-29 bold mine

 Anytime i am tempted to cry out "Why, God?" i think of Christ dying in my place: bearing my cross, drinking down to the dregs the full cup of the wrath of God for me. I think of Christ being forsaken by God on that cross, so that i would never have to be. I think of all the sorrows that Jesus bore as He walked this dusty land: abandonment, death of loved ones, rejection, betrayal, grief over the effects of sin, sorrow over Jerusalem... I think of how God placed upon His precious Son the sins that i have committed, that i continue to commit, and that i will commit in the future.  And i realize that any cross that God puts in my path pales in comparison to what my Lord Jesus suffered. It is through suffering that we draw nearer to God, and grow in ways that we wouldn't otherwise be able to.

No matter what the cross is you are facing, be strengthened by looking up to your faithful High Priest, who is ever living to make intercession for you, and who was both the sacrifice and the One offering the sacrifice for you. Fix your gaze on Christ. Pick up your cross, and follow Him. The One who is transforming you from glory to glory.

 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.         Hebrews 4:14-16

 but Jesus, on the other hand, because He continues forever, holds His priesthood permanently. 25 Therefore He is able also to save [i]forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. 26 For it was fitting for us to have such a high priest, holy, innocent, undefiled, separated from sinners and exalted above the heavens; 27 who does not need daily, like those high priests, to offer up sacrifices, first for His own sins and then for the sins of the people, because this He did once for all when He offered up Himself. Hebrews 7:24-27

We do not suffer alone. There is One who has gone before us. Also, God has provided His people as a source of comfort, encouragement, correction, and help when we carrying a particularly heavy cross. Lean in to His excellent Word. Lean in to your circle of friends. Lean in to your local church for godly counsel and help if needed. Most importantly, lean in to the sufferings of Jesus, and there find hope for your soul.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:2-5

In His Steps

"Our Christianity loves its ease and comfort too well to take up anything so rough and heavy as a cross. And yet what does Jesus mean? What is it to walk in His steps?"

~Charles Sheldon, In His Steps pg. 189

This will be considered in the next few posts. 

What are your initial thoughts?

Grief Observed

It has been over 8 months since my Dad passed away.

I don't talk about him much, though he is most always in my thoughts.

I still get teary-eyed from time to time. I re-live the day of his death often, since i was there with him when he passed.

When my Dad died, everything changed. Everything.

I ended up in some pretty intensive Biblical Discipleship, due to some major upheaval, where i have homework to do: books to read, verses that i pick to memorize, questions to answer, articles to read and pull thoughts out of. It is so good, and so hard all at the same time.

I have seen my sin, as i was immersed in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I saw my bondage to the fear of man, and had to work through some really tough things. But God... God is so FAITHFUL. and gentle. and loving. I even discovered that He doesn't just love me because He has to, but that He likes me as well!

I recently was given God's Healing for Life's Losses: How to Find Hope When You're Hurting by Robert Kellemen. Starting this book has been excellent for me. As i started it, this struck me:

Here's my promise to you. I'm not giving you pabulum. No trite platitudes. No false promises. No pretending. We'll remain real and raw like the Puritans who labeled suffering "losses and crosses." pg. 3

then,

When tragedy occurs, we enter a crisis of faith. We either move toward God or away from God. We'll probe how to move in the direction of finding God in the midst of our suffering

The end in sight is not quick answers through easy steps. Our goal is deep healing through a personal journey--With God, in Christ. He never lets you walk alone.  pg. 7

If you are like me and didn't know what pabulum was, here is the definition:  bland or insipid intellectual fare, entertainment, etc.

Oh, how thankful i am already for this book... to be real and raw. While i am reading it, sometimes it seems like i just lost my Dad a week ago. Yet, here i am. 8+ months out. I am realizing i need to talk about my Dad more, not just keep it all in my head. and i must let the tears roll down my cheeks, still.

With the intense discipling has come some real growth. In the beginning i was so tired of hearing Romans 8:28. You know, the one we pull out when we don't know what to say, instead of sometimes sitting quietly with the person and weeping with them...It is true, yes. God's Word is true and powerful and living. It is a beautiful verse, yet in the context of great loss, it can sound hollow. BUT... when someone pointed out to me that verse 29 follows verse 28, well, it meant more to me:

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son... Romans 8:28-29a

 Think of it... ALL things work for good, BECAUSE He is conforming us to the image of His Son! It is quite a bit to wrap our minds around, and reading Romans 8 in its entirety significantly helps. How encouraging! Even the darkest of nights in my life, He is using it to make me more like Christ. In my suffering, i can identify (albeit not to the extent of Christ's) with Christ in HIS suffering.

I am looking forward to finishing the book on grief. I believe it will continue to solidify the healing that has already begun, and it has already given me "permission" to be real and raw with my pain. If you find yourself suffering for any reason, i believe that Kelleman's book could be a real resource to bring hope (aside from THE Ultimate Source ~ Christ Jesus).

God is taking the ashes of my life and creating something far more beautiful than i could have ever imagined. I would not have chosen this path for myself. Who would? Yet, i am finally seeing how beauty can truly come from the ashes, all for His glory, and His fame.

Plenty of Promises

click on the picture
to purchase a copy!

I am reading this book right now (pictured at right). It's an old puritan book from the mid-1600's. It is chock-full of the promises of God to His people. It is challenging me more than i had anticipated, and causing me to see that some things had been stuck in my head, and were having a hard time making their way to my heart.

The reason they couldn't get into my heart fully? fear.

Here are some of the amazing truths (from pages 2 & 4):

• God comes with "plenteous redemption" for me, wretch that I am. (Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.)  
• God will be (and is) mine. (Jeremiah 32:38-40)
• He is my refuge and my rest (Psalm 90:1; 46:1)
• He is my heritage and my hope. {whoa.} 

All of these things are true for you too, if you are in Christ. I am personalizing them for me, because i am simply trying to get them to penetrate my heart. 

Healthy...or not?

A couple of weeks ago, i heard Leslie Vernick on Focus on the Family. I don't usually listen to that program, but i caught the tail end of a conversation that piqued my interest, right before we listen to Alistair Begg. This woman was talking about a relationship her relationship with her mother, and i identified on many levels. Not just the parts about her mother, but about being in emotionally destructive relationships. She wrote this book,   and it has been so helpful to me in many ways. I am not going to share details of my relationships here, but i DO want to recommend this book! 

If you have found yourself in relationships (either in your family of origin, friendships, spouse, children, work-related) that are confusing and painful, i recommend you pick this book up. She is a Christian therapist, but has lived it, and can give insight into some things. There is a quiz she offers, for you to see if you are in or have been in a destructive relationship, which i will link to here. This quiz is in her book, and it really gave me some clarity regarding a couple situations in my own life. She uses the Bible, and i have found her writing to be very helpful, and have found some of my own questions answered.

So, if you have a relationship that causes you anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, or causes you to feel like you are crazy, this is a great first step to take... of course, always take your cares to the Lord, for He cares for you!

 

!! Possess the Land !!

I was at an amazing conference this weekend, and Susie Larson was talking about possessing the land that we have given over to enemy of our souls, or possessing the land we have been too afraid to possess...all of which is done by standing on the promises of God in Christ Jesus. That was a powerful word to me. Life changing, really.

Then i was reading the introduction to a book by Dr. David Jeremiah called Slaying the Giants in Your Life and you will never believe what it was all about? Possessing the land, and removing the giants. Entering the land that God in Christ has for us!

This morning i was reading Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Cowman, and it was an entry for February 25th...here is what it said:

"Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you." Joshua 1:3

Beside the literal ground, unoccupied for Christ, there is the unclaimed, untrodden territory of Divine promises. What did God say to Joshua? "Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you," and then He draws the outlines of hte Land of Promise--all theirs on one condition: that they shall march through the length and breadth of it, and measure it off with your own feet.

They never did that to more than one-third of the property, and consequently they never had more than one-third ; they had just what they measured off, and no more.

In 2 Peter, we read of the "land of promise" that is opened up to us, and it is God's will that we should, as it were, measure off that territory by the feet of obedient faith and believing obedience, thus claimiing and appropriating it for our own.

How many of us have ever taken possession of the promises of God in the name of Christ?

Here is a magnificent territory for faith to lay hold on and march through the length and breadth of, and faith has never done it yet.

Let us enter into all our inheritance. Let us lift up our eyes to the north and to the south, to the east and to the west, and hear Him say, "All the land that thou seest will I give to thee."  --A. T. Pierson

Coincidence? i think not! The past months have been a process of being crushed and coming undone. A good undone...the kind that leads to complete healing of all the brokenness in my life. When i heard the talk about possessing the land, it reached to the depths of my soul, as i realized how much ground i had willingly given over to the enemy of my soul. The Lord wanted to make sure i REALLY got it, so when i came home from the conference, He confirmed His word, with His word, through those two books! We serve a TRULY AWESOME God, that is in the business of healing broken lives.

So.....
We are to claim the land which He has given us!! Fear is under our feet, and we have all the promises of God in Christ Jesus to claim!!

Go!!

POSSESS THE LAND !!