Healthy...or not?

A couple of weeks ago, i heard Leslie Vernick on Focus on the Family. I don't usually listen to that program, but i caught the tail end of a conversation that piqued my interest, right before we listen to Alistair Begg. This woman was talking about a relationship her relationship with her mother, and i identified on many levels. Not just the parts about her mother, but about being in emotionally destructive relationships. She wrote this book,   and it has been so helpful to me in many ways. I am not going to share details of my relationships here, but i DO want to recommend this book! 

If you have found yourself in relationships (either in your family of origin, friendships, spouse, children, work-related) that are confusing and painful, i recommend you pick this book up. She is a Christian therapist, but has lived it, and can give insight into some things. There is a quiz she offers, for you to see if you are in or have been in a destructive relationship, which i will link to here. This quiz is in her book, and it really gave me some clarity regarding a couple situations in my own life. She uses the Bible, and i have found her writing to be very helpful, and have found some of my own questions answered.

So, if you have a relationship that causes you anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, or causes you to feel like you are crazy, this is a great first step to take... of course, always take your cares to the Lord, for He cares for you!

 

True Delight

I love this rendition by Jars of Clay, off their Redemption Songs album

THOU LOVELY SOURCE OF TRUE DELIGHT
traditional words by Anne Steele (alt. by Kevin Twit) / music by Kevin Twit

Thou lovely source of true delight whom I unseen adore
Unveil Thy beauties to my sight that I might love Thee more
Oh that I might love Thee more

Thy glory o’er creation shines yet in Thy sacred word
I read in fairer brighter lines my bleeding, dying Lord
Oh my bleeding, dying Lord

‘Tis here whene’er my comforts droop and sin and sorrows rise
Thy love with cheering beams of hope my fainting heart supplies
My fainting heart’s supplied

And ah too soon the pleasing scene is clouded over with pain
My gloomy fears rise dark between and I again complain
Oh and I again complain

Jesus my Lord, my life, my light, oh come with blissful ray
Break radiant through the shades of night and chase my fears away
Won’t you chase my fears away

Then shall my soul with rapture trace the wonders of Thy love
But the full glories of Thy face are only known above
They are only known above

Oh come let us adore
My bleeding dying Lord

© 1998 Kevin Twit Music.

http://youtu.be/7T7CxwWXiow

Victory

pic taken with flash

February 25-26, 2011 marks the weekend that i was given this beautiful glass piece by a sweet friend. I attended a conference (i am not a conf. junkie, so it was a rare event for me) put on by a church in Hudson, WI. There were two beautiful women, Carla and Kristi, who talked to me about it, friends on facebook and through the bloggy-world. At this conference i would get to meet them for the first time, and what a meeting it was! When i was given this sun-catcher, made by Kristi, i was floored. The conference hadn't even started yet, and i was in tears. I went to that place broken crushed and undone. My life was a mess. It was literally my last effort at keeping my life together.  These women knew what had been happening, and i believe they prayed me there! Kristi handed me the package, and simply said, "Victory". Little did i know just how much victory would be mine as a result of the Word of God sung by Sara Groves, the Word of God taught by Susie Larson, and the prayers of so many on my behalf. That weekend literally changed my life. God restored me, emotionally and spiritually. I left that place Saturday afternoon a different person... i was FREE. I had HOPE. God had brought about VICTORY.  I am celebrating the awesome work God did then, and continues to do now.

Things did not magically get better in my life. I still had difficulties to walk and work through, but i knew i was no longer alone. I knew that God had a purpose for me. I knew that God was carrying me tenderly in His amazing arms.

This past autumn and winter have been difficult in many ways, including the death of my earthly dad, Ben, on January 25th. Through it all, i have learned to lean in closer to my God, to my Jesus. I have learned to focus on Christ...to keep my eyes fixed on Christ. I have learned to praise Him in the midst of some of the deepest pain i have gone through in my life, for He is worthy. I have learned to allow myself to be loved. Loved by God in Christ, and loved by others. Love without fear.

I have learned to do battle from a place of victory, as the enemy is defeated in the end.

All in all, that one little word, spoken almost 2 years ago now, has changed me. It has become my reality. VICTORY.... IN JESUS!  Victory..... in the cross of Christ. VICTORY!

This precious gift hangs in my kitchen window. It is stunning as it catches the light, and makes little rainbows in my kitchen. And when i see it...it reminds me of all that God has freed me from,  and of all the promises of God that are mine in Christ.

Thank you, Kristi, for such a precious gift in that one word, and for the physical reminder of it.  

w/o flash

**There are many who have prayed with/for me through the years... thank you to all of you. God is faithful.

Gratitude Check

“So much has been given to me I have not time

   to ponder over that which has been denied.”

~ Helen Keller

 

 

I have been really thinking about this. Can't say amen, better say ouch, as one preacher states. 

O Savior, precious Savior!

O Savior, precious Savior

O Savior, precious Savior,
Whom yet unseen we love!
O name of might and favor,
All other names above!
We worship Thee, we bless Thee,
To Thee, O Christ, we sing;
We praise Thee, and confess Thee
Our holy Lord and king.

 

O bringer of salvation,
Who wondrously hast wrought,
Thyself the revelation
Of love beyond our thought;
We worship Thee, we bless Thee,
To Thee, O Christ, we sing;
We praise Thee, and confess Thee
Our gracious Lord and king.

 

In Thee all fullness dwelleth,
All grace and power divine;
The glory that excelleth,
O Son of God, is Thine;
We worship Thee, we bless Thee,
To Thee, O Christ, we sing:
We praise Thee, and confess Thee
Our glorious Lord and king.

 

O grant the consummation
Of this our song above,
In endless adoration,
And everlasting love!
Then shall we praise and bless Thee
Where perfect praises ring,
And evermore confess Thee
Our Savior and our king.

Sensing

We are learning about attentiveness right now. I learned something new today (which, by the way, is one reason i love homeschooling, even on the tough days).

Did you know that the sense of hearing is the FIRST of the five senses to function in the womb? And, interestingly enough, it is the LAST sense to stop functioning at death?

I had no idea it was the first sense to work. That was pretty cool. Also, was reminded that the morning  my Dad passed away, he heard God's Word read, and God's praises sung. My Pastor mentioned that i would look back and find that it was a blessing to be there when he went, and today i realized that it truly was.

Thank you, dearest Heavenly Father, for the gift of hearing.

a hymn to end the day

And Can It Be?

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

 

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

 

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

 

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

 

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

an idol

For far too long i have cared more about what others think of me, than what God says about me. ouch. That, my friends, is idolatry. egads!!  i just said the word. An idol is something that means more to you than God, to put it simply. i have put the opinions of others about me above the Truth of God's Word.

Realizing this the past couple weeks has brought about a freedom and peace that is liberating. Walking in repentance is freeing. yes, FREEING! The example from my life right now is that i have let the actions and words (or lack of actions and words) from 2 people run my life the past few years. I have believed the lie that those words (or lack of) are an accurate picture of my worth and value, even if 100 other people told me the opposite. Thankfully, a godly Christian counselor helped me to see my need to repent in this area and find my worth in God alone. AMEN. I have the peace of Christ.

Is there an idol in your life? Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties;  And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24.

He is faithful.

Then, put on Christ...
"And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed.   The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.   Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy.  But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. ~Romans 13:11-14

AND...
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.   The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you." ~Philippians 4:8-9

what better way

What better way to kick-off a new blog, than by posting one of my favorite hymns? Take the time to read through the verses, and....Enjoy!


Be Thou My Vison
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Words: Dallan Forgail (8th Century)