ack!

it has been so long since i posted, and we (hubby and i) have walked through SO much since i last posted! i am now Homeschooling our eldest child.... a  grand adventure!

I am hoping to schedule time to blog, but we shall have to see. so much growth has been happening too in our lives.

I am also going to be combining this blog with another one i do, to limit my stress :)  So, if you had followed The Frugal Year, it will now be here as well...

blessings!

"Do Thou for Me"

But do thou for me, O GOD the Lord, for thy name's sake: because thy mercy is good, deliver thou me. Psalm 109:21

I recently read a devotional from F.R. Havergal. It is from her excellent work Royal Bounty. I found myself praying it just last night, when i had reached the end of my own resources in many situations..."Do Thou for me, O GOD!" Below, the writings of Ms. Havergal, which were so challenging and inspiring...

Do Thou for Me.
'Do Thou for Me.' --Ps. cix. 21.

The Psalmist does not say what he wanted God to do for him. He leaves it open. So this most restful prayer is left open for all perplexed hearts to appropriate 'according to their several necessities.' And so we leave it open for God to fill up in His own way.

Only a trusting heart can pray this prayer at all: the very utterance of it is an act of faith. We could not ask any one whom we did not know intimately and trust implicitly to 'do' for us, without even suggesting what.

Only a self-emptied heart can pray it. It is when we have come to the end of our own resources, or rather, come to see that we never had any at all, that we are willing to accept the fact that we can 'do nothing,' and to let God do everything for us.

Only a loving heart can pray it For nobody likes another to take them and their affairs in hand, and 'do' for them, unless that other is cordially loved. We might submit to it, but we should not like it, and certainly should not seek it.

So, if we have caught at this little prayer as being just what we want, just what it seems a real rest to say, I think it shows that we do trust in Him and not in ourselves, and that we do love Him really and truly. There is sure to be a preface to this prayer. 'Neither know we what to do' (2Chron.20:12). Perhaps we have been shrinking from being brought to this. Rather let us give thanks for it. It is the step down from the drifting wreck on to the ladder still hanging at the side. Will another step be down into the dark water? Go on, a little lower still, fear not! The next is, 'We know not what we should pray for' (Rom. 8:26). Now we have reached the lowest step. What next? 'Do Thou for me.' This is the step into the Captain's boat. Now He will cut loose from the wreck of  our efforts, ladder and all will be left behind, and we have nothing to do but to 'sit still' and let Him take us to our 'desired haven,' probably steering quite a different course from anything we should have thought best. Not seldom 'immediately the ship is at the land whither' we went.  

  What may we, from His own word, expect in answer to this wide petition?

 1. 'What His soul desireth, even that He doeth' (Job 23:13). Contrast this with our constantly felt inability to do a hundredth part of what we desire to do for those we love. Think of what God's desires must be for us, whom He so loves, that He spared not His own Son.  'That He doeth!'

2. 'He performeth the thing that is appointed for me' (Job 23:14). This is wonderfully inclusive; one should read over all the epistles to get a view of the things present and future, seen and unseen, the grace and the glory that He has appointed for us. It includes also all the 'good works which God hath before ordained, that we should walk in them.' It will not be our performance of them, but His; for He 'worketh in you to will and to do,' (Phil.2:13). and 'Thou also hast wrought all our works in us.' (Isa. 26:12).  

3. The beautiful old translations says, He 'shall perform the cause which I have in hand.' (Psalm 57:2<possibly the Geneva Bible>). Does not that make it very real to us to-day? Just the very thing that 'I have in hand,' my own particular bit of work to-day--this cause that I cannot manage, this thing that I undertook in miscalculation of my own power, this is what I may ask Him to do 'for me,' and rest assured that He will perform it.  'The wise and their works are in the hand of God!'

4. He 'performeth all things for me.' (Psalm 57:2). Does He mean as much as this? Well, He has caused it to be written for us 'that we might have hope;' (Romans 15:4) and what more do we want? Then let Him do it. Let Him perform all things for us.

Not some things, but all things; or the very things which we think there is no particular need fro Him to perform will be all failures--wood, hay, and stubble to be burnt up. One by one let us claim this wonderful word; 'the thing of a day in his day,' 'as the matter shall require,' being always brought to Him with the God-given petition, "Do Thou for me.'

Do not wait to feel very much 'oppressed' before you say, 'O Lord, undertake for me.' (Isaiah 38:14).  Far better say that at first than at last, as we have too often done! Bring the prayer in one hand, and the promises in the other, joining them in the faith-clasp of 'Do as Thou hast said!' (2 Samuel 8:2). And put both the hands into the hand of Him whom the Father heareth always, saying, 'Do Thou for me, O Lord God, for Thy name's sake,' for the sake of Jehovah-Jesus, the mighty God, the everlasting Father, yet the Saviour of sinners.  

It was long...but wasn't it worth the read? i now find myself crying out..."Do Thou for me, O Lord, my God!!"

With All Your Heart

last time, we looked at the first four words of Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD...". What an amazing 4 words, and how challenging they can be for us to live out.

today, we turn to the rest of Proverbs 3:5 "...with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding."

with all your heart. 
ALL.
holding nothing back.
fully, totally, utterly.
not just in part, but in whole.

if you are anything like me, maybe you would say that you do trust Him with ALL your heart. but then maybe you find yourself trying to figure your way out of a situation that is impossible.
or you worry.
ouch.
it says "Trust in the LORD with ALL your heart..."
there is no room for worry or anxiety there. not if we TRULY trust Him, with ALL our hearts.

if there is anxiety or worry after we have given it all over to Jesus, we need to pray for the Holy Spirit to show us where we are not trusting, to show us where in our heart are we not letting Him be Lord...

1 Peter 5:7 says this:  "casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
we aren't supposed to just cast a little bit of our care on Him...NO! ALL of our cares on Him, and then TRUST Him with ALL our hearts to work it out according to His will, because He cares for us. What a precious promise from His most excellent Word. and because we know that He cares for us, we need not lean on our own way of doing things, our own understanding of a situation, on our own wisdom (or what we think is our wisdom). HE cares for us. HE see's the big picture. HE is caring for us in His most perfect way.

i am working through this. being pruned. most definitely. and it hurts, but it is good, and necessary for growth.

may we embrace and trust the Lord Jesus Christ with ALL our hearts this day.

Who Do You Trust

"Trust in the LORD..." So starts Proverbs 3:5. And that is as far as we are gonna get today.

i wonder, who do you trust? i mean, really trust? Who do you go to when things are going south, real quick? Lately i have been asking myself these questions. and not really liking the answers.

i propose to all of us, that the first thing we need to do when things are going south is to go to our Father in heaven, who is ALWAYS (and i mean ALWAYS) there. If i lean into this verse, just the first 4 words, i realize that i need to show i have put my trust in Him by going to Him in any and every situation. Hmmm.

One of the marks of Christianity is our trust in Jesus Christ, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit. That He will lead, guide, redeem, restore, forgive, sustain. When we look to other things, or people, we show that we don't truly trust Him with our everything.

Why can we trust Christ?

Francis Havergal writes:

Ye belong to Christ. Mark 9:41

There is no vague and general belonging to Christ. This relationship is full of specific realities. "I am Thine" means, "Truly I am Thy servant. I am one of Thy dear children. I am Thy chosen soldier. I am Thy ransomed one. I am Thy own sheep. I am Thy witness. I am Thy Friend." And all these are but Amens to His own condescending declarations. He says we are all these, and we have only to say, "Yes, Lord, so I am." Why should we ever contradict Him?

"I am Thy friend." wow...if we truly believed that, we would go to Him FIRST in everything that pops up in our day. We can trust Him. Has He ever shown Himself other than Faithful and True, Trustworthy?

"Trust in the LORD" is what we must do, dear ones. We need to go to Jesus first with all of our hurts and sorrows, as well as with all of our joys and hopes. and we must go to Him BEFORE we go to the phone, facebook, email, or twitter. Let Him soothe. We will find ourselves refreshed. We will find that our tongues are less quick to spew out poisonous darts. We will find our TRUE PEACE.

So, Dear One, lets trust in the LORD, for He has said that we belong to Him, and we know that He is completely trustworthy (even with those very delicate areas of our hearts).

Now You're Talkin'

i have been sitting in some stuff lately. pondering, really. thinkin' about what gets my time. my energy. my thoughts.

know what i discovered?

i think about a lot of stuff i don't need to think about! 

i read a devotional book called Unopened Treasures by the late Francis Ridley Havergal. She is one gifted writer! seriously on the level with Spurgeon, in a woman's world.

she has been talking about Trust. Worry. Being kept by Christ.

 Oh.My.Stars.

Can we say.....MAJOR CONVICTION ?!?!



i could just post her thoughts. let you sit in it too. but as i sit, i am processing. i am thinking. i am praying.

and wouldn't you know, the sermon on Sunday was ALL.ABOUT. TRUST.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding; 
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. 

~Proverbs 3:5-6

this verse was the topic Sunday. Now we're talkin'!! there will be more to come....i promise. but i leave you with the above verse to ponder. 



Belonging

So, we celebrated 14 years of marriage yesterday. Wow...quite a feat these days, if i do say so myself. We spent a wonderful afternoon, visiting old haunts, chatting, eating, and laughing. Sharing future dreams. My sweet man opened up about things he had been thinking about doing, and was surprised at my enthusiasm and joy in his prospects!

Over dessert, we talked (i talked) about my own "stuff", and i can honestly say, that for the first time in my life, i feel like i belong somewhere. For my entire life i have chased after this deep-seated desire to belong. OH, what lengths we go to in order to "fit in" as you say!

i know that i belong and have belonging with Christ Jesus.

But don't we all long to belong on the personal level too? i know i have. and i have jumped through hoops, people-pleased, sacrificed, etc. in order to belong.

Last night was wonderful. Affirming. Full of faithfulness, trust, and openness. i know i belong. i know i am loved. i know i can finally stop striving, and just rest.

Rest in the love my husband has for me. Rest in the place of belonging. Rest in Christ.

AH!! What joy there is when you can finally take a deep breath, without fear, trusting in the faithfulness of a love so true.

Love or Torment?

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.           

 ~ 1 John 4:18-19

You just read the verse that the Lord used to bring me that freedom from fear. It was just this Monday morning, and i was still really thinking about the worship time on Sunday. See here for more on that.

Now, we know this verse. It is often said. Well, the first part is. i have heard this verse SO often quoted, while leaving out the second part of verse 18, "because fear involves torment." Why do we leave this part out? i propose because it doesn't sound as pretty, or nice, as the first part. We can accept that we should not have fear in love, but do we ever think of what fear itself involves? Not much, as we rarely quote the last half of the verse.

The word "torment" really struck me on Monday. i had to sit on it for awhile. to process. to absorb all the implications of what my fear really was....it was torment. And should i, a Christ-one, be living with torment? Should you?

Dictionary.com defined torment this way:

tor-ment

as a verb

1. to afflict with great bodily or mental suffering; pain: to be tormented with violent headaches.

2. to worry or annoy excessively: to torment one with questions.

3.to throw into commotion; stir up; disturb.

as a noun

4.a state of great bodily or mental suffering; agony; misery.

5.something that causes great bodily or mental pain or suffering.

6. a source of much trouble, worry, or annoyance.

7. an instrument of torture, as the rack or the thumbscrew.

8. the infliction of torture by means of such an instrument or the torture so inflicted.

Those are some pretty strong words. Do we realize that when we are walking in fear, we are tormented? To be completely honest, when i am fearing, i am excessively worried, disturbed, in mental pain. My mind is tortured with all the thoughts of what could be. and i definitely suffer from headaches from all of my anxiousness.

And guess who is pleased-as-punch when we are living our lives with fear? yep. The enemy of our souls. This is most certainly not living in the perfect love of our God and Father; the perfect love of Jesus Christ.

i'll tell you what...this is one woman who is DONE being tormented by fears! i don't know what the future will hold. i don't know what my life will look like down the road. But i KNOW i can trust and depend on the amazing strength and salvation on Jesus Christ, my Saviour, the One who knows the future of all. i know that i can rest in the perfect love that the Father has for me. Jeremiah 31:3 states:

The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “ Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you."

Isaiah 43:1-2 holds precious promises for the things that may be fear-inducing:

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:

“ Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you."

Oh, Dear Christ-one's, let us  take Him at His most perfect Word and claim His promises for us. Let us walk into the land like Joshua, without fear! We have a Strong Deliverer on our side....ALWAYS!!

Fear is Knocking

Sunday morning. Church. Worship. Singing praises to our Lord and God. Joyful.

Then, it happens...

Our worship leader decided to preach for a couple minutes (which i welcome). First words out of his mouth were something like this: "You know, as Christians, we have nothing to fear. No reason to be afraid. We are in Christ, and don't have to fear anything." As i said earlier, it went on for a couple minutes. Now, to some, this was no new news.

To me, it was everything.

My husband and i had just been talking a few nights before this about this very topic. Yep. Fear. More specifically, i was talking about my fears. How i realized i had some pretty big ones recently. Some big ones that had knocked on my door, and i let in.

Like...
how insecure i am in my friendships. Afraid they will leave me.

Insecure in my marriage. Afraid he will leave me.

Get the theme here?

My hubby loves me. Really loves me. And deeply desires that i could rest in his love for me. i yearn for that rest. After Sunday, i realized i had to make a choice, not based on my feelings (fear), but based on the FACTS. My husband loves me and does not want to leave me. I choose to believe this. I trust Christ in him. My Babe honors me and loves me like Christ loves the Church...and i will rest in that :)

In talking with a friend about my insecurities in my friendships, i realized that i am called to love and serve the way Christ loved and served Judas. I am NOT saying my friends are like Judas! i am saying that Christ knew who would betray him, and loved him the same. yep. washed his feet even. If anyone ever had reason to fear that His friends would abandon him, it was Christ, because they all did! Yet He did NOT fear. He trusted and obeyed and did what the Father told Him to do.

So, after our worship pastor preached, we started singing a new song. The music started. The words went up on the screen. And i was frozen. i could not sing. Tears were streaming down my face. My number had been called...God had a meeting with me! Here are the lyrics (i could finally sing for the 2nd chorus!):

 Always by Kristian Stanfill (click name for video)

My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way
Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always
Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in YouI will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the wayOh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, from You Lord
Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, alwaysOh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always, always

~ amen ~

next post, the verse God used Monday ;) as He always confirms His work, with His Word.

Unruffled Gladness

Opened Treasures, compiled by Pell, William JTaken from Opened Treasures, 1st edition, July 22nd:

PREPARED FOR HIS APPOINTMENTS

Thy servants are ready to do whatsoever my

 lord the king shall appoint.  2 Samuel 15:15

This is the secret of steady and unruffled gladness in "the business of the Lord, and the service of the King," whether we are "over the treasures of the house of God," or, "for the outward business over Israel."  It makes all the difference! If we are really, and always, and equally ready to do whatsoever the King appoints, all the trials and vexations arising from any change in His appointments, great or small, simply do not exist.

If He appoints me to work there, shall I lament that I am not to work here?

If He appoints me to wait indoors today, am I to be annoyed because I am not to work out-of-doors?

If I meant to write His messages this morning, shall I grumble because He sends interrupting visitors, rich or poor, to whom I am to speak them, or "show kindness" for His sake, or at least obey His command, "Be courteous"?

If all my members are really at His disposal, why should I be put out if today's appointment is some simple work for my hands or errands for my feet, instead of some seemingly more important doing of head or tongue?

The "whatsoever" is not necessarily active work. It may be waiting (whether half an hour or half a lifetime), learning, suffering, sitting still. But, dear fellow-servants of "my Lord the King," shall we be less ready for these, if any of them are His appointements for today? "Whatsoever the king did pleased all the people." "Ready" implies something of preparation--not being taken by surprise. So let us ask Him to prepare us for all that He is preparing for us. And may "the hand of God give" us "one heart to do the commandment of the King"!

Speak to me by name, O Master, let me know it is to me;

Speak, that I may follow faster, with a step more firm and free...

~all of the above written by Francis R. Havergal

This was a challenging word to me this morning, as i am one who tends to get annoyed when plans change. Through this i am beginning to understand that my time is the Lord's, to do with as HE see's fit. Deeply do i desire "unruffled gladness" in His service, even if it means a change in "my" plans..



Worship

Do you ever have a Sunday where you feel like you could go home after the worship time, having been totally challenged in your thinking? Sometimes the sermon is a bonus...

Sunday we were singing a song that has a refrain that goes like this at the end: "we lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes..You're the giver of life..". as i was singing that part, i heard softly "My child, lift up your eyes to me, and I will lift you up. I am the giver of life."

Now, i know this. This is nothing ne to me. But it finally made the journey from my mind to my heart. Tears sprang up as i realized i had been looking to other things to give me life and to fill me up. i was choosing anxiety and worry, over trusting prayer. i was choosing how i wanted things to go, over the Sovereignty of my Lord and God. Let's just say that i was challenged to my core. Grateful that He would chasten me. Thankful that i can look up and He is waiting there.

Corrie TenBoom was known for always having her eyes to the sky, watching for her Saviour to return on the clouds. May that be how i live my own life. Ever watching, Ever waiting, Ever Trusting.