We truly sit in the in-between of the now and the not yet, of the known and the unknown. Here, the mental meanderings of a gal as she lives in the in-between.
12.13.2013
12.06.2013
up and coming!
i am still working on some posts about following in the steps of Christ...
it has been really busy around here, so know that they are in the works and will be coming soon!
In the meantime, i think this quote pretty much sums it up!
it has been really busy around here, so know that they are in the works and will be coming soon!
In the meantime, i think this quote pretty much sums it up!
11.30.2013
A Song-ett
{hoping you got that little play on words up there in the title! Instead of Sonnett, a Song-ett. i know.. pretty weak.}
As I was listening to some songs on my ipod, i realized that i was starting to make sentences of some of the song titles. I grabbed a piece of paper and pen, and this is what i ended up with! So, this is made up mostly of song titles, and it is a great summary of what the Lord has been doing in my life.
Though You Slay Me and Move in Mysterious Ways, I will Turn My Eyes Upon Jesus, and cry out, "Jesus, Draw Me Ever Nearer". Because You Walked in Lonely Places, I can now Lift Up My Sorrows, knowing that You Did That For Me. Amazing Grace sets me on A Firm Foundation, knowing that Jesus exchanged His Robes for Mine. In Christ Alone can I truly say "It Is Well With My Soul!" Amazing love, how can it be that Thou, my God, shouldst die for me? Praise the Lord, for GREAT things He IS doing!!Here are links to the songs if you want to listen to them :):
Though You Slay Me
God Moves in a Mysterious Way
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
Jesus, Draw Me Ever Nearer
You Walked in Lonely Places (M. Card talks about this song here)
Lift Up Your Sorrows
You Did That For Me
Amazing Grace
How Firm a Foundation
His Robes for Mine
In Christ Alone
It Is Well With My Soul
And Can It Be (Amazing Love)
Doxology
11.20.2013
In His Steps
"Our Christianity loves its ease and comfort too well to take up anything so rough and heavy as a cross. And yet what does Jesus mean? What is it to walk in His steps?"
~Charles Sheldon, In His Steps pg. 189
This will be considered in the next few posts.
What are your initial thoughts?
11.15.2013
The Gospel of Jesus Christ
Please take 9 minutes to listen to the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ, presented by Steve Lawson in October. This was an impromptu question he was asked, and he just NAILED it! It is sooo good for us to meditate on the riches of grace that are found in Christ alone..
(the video has embedding disabled, so you will have to click the link to see it)
(the video has embedding disabled, so you will have to click the link to see it)
Soli Deo Gloria!
11.14.2013
Free From Facebook
it has been 6 months since i left facebook.
yes.
i am still alive.
and kicking.
i hopped on my husband's the other day, and i can honestly say i don't miss it.
at all.
I am finding that when i talk to people, it actually forces a conversation, because,
no.
i didn't see your post on fb.
so,
how was your weekend?
an observation from a former fb user:
Facebook has done something to our culture. Something i am not a fan of. It has given people a boldness to say things publicly online, that they would not dare to say face-to-face. Why say it online for the world to see, if you are not willing to say it if the person were standing right in front of you? You may think you are hiding behind the screen, but at some point, reality has to be faced. We need to have the same standard for "facebooking" as we have for conversations that are face-to-face.
Which leads me to another observation:
Some things are better kept private between people, not plastered all over fb for the world to see your disagreement. Some of the things i saw posted grieved me.
We need to learn the art of discretion again.
I am not saying that fb is all bad either. I see it used for good. I know that people use it to post verses and encouraging songs, sermons, and snippets for the edifying of the Body of Christ.. Kudos!! Keep it up!
I may or may not return to facebook. For now, i am content NOT being on it. And i have decided that for another good chunk of time, i am not going on my husband's account either. If you are a facebook user, may i humbly suggest that you think twice before you post once? It can be used for God's glory...
yes.
i am still alive.
and kicking.
i hopped on my husband's the other day, and i can honestly say i don't miss it.
at all.
I am finding that when i talk to people, it actually forces a conversation, because,
no.
i didn't see your post on fb.
so,
how was your weekend?
an observation from a former fb user:
Facebook has done something to our culture. Something i am not a fan of. It has given people a boldness to say things publicly online, that they would not dare to say face-to-face. Why say it online for the world to see, if you are not willing to say it if the person were standing right in front of you? You may think you are hiding behind the screen, but at some point, reality has to be faced. We need to have the same standard for "facebooking" as we have for conversations that are face-to-face.
Which leads me to another observation:
Some things are better kept private between people, not plastered all over fb for the world to see your disagreement. Some of the things i saw posted grieved me.
We need to learn the art of discretion again.
I am not saying that fb is all bad either. I see it used for good. I know that people use it to post verses and encouraging songs, sermons, and snippets for the edifying of the Body of Christ.. Kudos!! Keep it up!
I may or may not return to facebook. For now, i am content NOT being on it. And i have decided that for another good chunk of time, i am not going on my husband's account either. If you are a facebook user, may i humbly suggest that you think twice before you post once? It can be used for God's glory...
11.10.2013
Danger Zone!
Kenny Loggins... Eerie coincidence? |
So, this picture was in a magazine selling items for Christians. All that i could think of when i saw this picture of what is supposed to be Jesus, was Richard Marx, with a beard. I showed my husband when he came home, and all he could think of was Kenny Loggins!
So, here we have a shepherd of the Danger Zone, Holding on to the Night?
sorry... couldn't resist.
Really, we need to stop trying to draw what Jesus looked like. NO ONE knows! And this picture is for sure ONE reason why. I mean, really... the guy who drew this pic could have very easily used a picture of Kenny Loggins for his "model"!
Just for fun, here is a pic of Richard Marx...
11.07.2013
11.06.2013
shaky-quakey
There was a question where he had to type in the answer.
The question was: How would you describe a Quaker, and who was the leader of the Quakers?
His response? Shaky, and William Penn was the leader of the Quakers in America.
All i could do was shake my head and laugh...and re-assign the question!
10.29.2013
we will understand....just not yet
This song brings me to my knees. the honesty. the beauty. the searching. the Truth. Farther along, we WILL know all about it. Am i willing, are you willing, to sit in the in between.
let the flood wash me of my doubts, fears, sins, burdens!
"His is the Kingdom, we're the guests... O Lord, Come soon!"
"Farther Along" - Josh Garrels from Josh Garrels on Vimeo.
Farther along we'll know all about itFarther along we'll understand whyCheer up my brothers, live in the sunshineWe'll understand this, all by and by
Tempted and tried, I wondered whyThe good man died, the bad man thrivesAnd Jesus cries because he loves em' bothWe're all cast-aways in need of ropesHangin' on by the last threads of our hopeIn a house of mirrors full of smokeConfusing illusions I've seen
Where did I go wrong, I sang alongTo every chorus of the songThat the devil wrote like a piper at the gatesLeading mice and men down to their fatesBut some will courageously escapeThe seductive voice with a heart of faithWhile walkin' that line back home
So much more to life than we've been toldIt's full of beauty that will unfoldAnd shine like you struck gold my wayward sonThat deadweight burden weighs a tonGo down into the river and let it runAnd wash away all the things you've doneForgiveness, alright
Chorus
Still I get hard pressed on every sideBetween the rock and a compromiseLike the truth and pack of lies fightin' for my soulAnd I've got no place left goCause I got changed by what I've been shownMore glory than the world has knownKeeps me ramblin' on
Skipping like a calf loosed from its stallI'm free to love once and for allAnd even when I fall I'll get back upFor the joy that overflows my cupHeaven filled me with more than enoughBroke down my levee and my bluffLet the flood wash me
And one day when the sky rolls back on usSome rejoice and the others fussCause every knee must bow and tongue confessThat the Son of God is forever blessedHis is the kingdom, we're the guestsSo put your voice up to the testSing Lord, come soon
Chorus(lyrics to Farther Along, emphasis mine)
let the flood wash me of my doubts, fears, sins, burdens!
"His is the Kingdom, we're the guests... O Lord, Come soon!"
"Farther Along" - Josh Garrels from Josh Garrels on Vimeo.
Farther along we'll know all about itFarther along we'll understand whyCheer up my brothers, live in the sunshineWe'll understand this, all by and by
10.27.2013
contrasts
It is striking.
really.
the contrasts of this journey.
the journey of faith.
In God's kingdom, it all seems upside-down.
beauty...from ashes.
light...from the dark places.
peace...in the midst of chaos.
poor in spirit...inheriting the Kingdom.
dying...that i might live.
learning as i go.
learning to lean in to the process.
His process.
learning to quiet my tongue more,
and pour out my heart to the One who made me.
learning to listen to His Word.
and let His Word satisfy my hungry soul.
really.
the contrasts of this journey.
the journey of faith.
In God's kingdom, it all seems upside-down.
beauty...from ashes.
light...from the dark places.
peace...in the midst of chaos.
poor in spirit...inheriting the Kingdom.
dying...that i might live.
learning as i go.
learning to lean in to the process.
His process.
learning to quiet my tongue more,
and pour out my heart to the One who made me.
learning to listen to His Word.
and let His Word satisfy my hungry soul.
I sought the Lord, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces will never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
And saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,
And rescues them.
O taste and see that the Lord is good;
How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
Psalm 34:4-8
10.21.2013
Journals
Despair.
Gloom.
Depression.
Rejection.
Oppression.
Abuse.
Guilt.
Shame.
Manipulation.
Emotionally Driven.
Anger.
Death.
All of those words describe my many journals from the past. This weekend i was going through a box. A box of memories. Some not so pleasant. I found a letter. A letter that forever changed me, and not for the better. A letter that reminded me that i didn't make up things in my past. A letter that showed me how lost i was, and how abandoned i was in the hours i needed protection the most. A letter that put into high-gear the rebellion that was silently, stealthily, growing. A letter. Words. Words that killed the spirit of a 14 year old girl.
Then,
I found journals from when i was in my early 20's. Cries of desperation to God, praises for apparent change (due to my own efforts), and then a deeper plunge into the dark pit. Oh, how my heart broke for this woman. This woman who thought for so long that the cross of Christ wasn't enough. For this woman who thought that she had to earn love and acceptance from God, and that every sin she committed caused her to lose her salvation. Then, if she repented enough and cried out enough, she would be saved....again.
O, my heart broke. broke for the lies that she had believed, for the truth she was not told, for the "works" she performed in hopes of being free, for the times she went to "prayer sessions" to be free, for the fear she lived in every minute of every day. This woman was bound in sin and by the fear of man.
As i read, i couldn't help contrast how different things are today. Today. O glorious today.
Today. Today i am growing. Today i am learning to lean in to Christ as the All Sufficient One. I have learned to let go of the fear of man (it is still a battle some days, but it no longer controls me). Today i am being challenged to grow in the Word, to rest in the gospel, to put on the armor of God. Through intense Biblical Discipleship and the tender care of our Pastor, God has transformed my life (and He continues to).
I look back on my journals, and wish that someone would have taught me these truths long ago. I cannot go back in time. I can only move forward, with my eyes fixed on Christ. I now see that i can do NOTHING to add to what Christ has done at Calvary for me, a wretched sinner. I now see that i am loved by God more that i ever deserve, because of what Christ has done. I now see that my salvation is SECURE! I am safe in Christ! No one can snatch me out of His amazing, nail-scarred hands. No one. For those scars were for me, for my sin, so that i could be reconciled to God and have eternity with Him to sing His glorious praise!
Gloom.
Depression.
Rejection.
Oppression.
Abuse.
Guilt.
Shame.
Manipulation.
Emotionally Driven.
Anger.
Death.
All of those words describe my many journals from the past. This weekend i was going through a box. A box of memories. Some not so pleasant. I found a letter. A letter that forever changed me, and not for the better. A letter that reminded me that i didn't make up things in my past. A letter that showed me how lost i was, and how abandoned i was in the hours i needed protection the most. A letter that put into high-gear the rebellion that was silently, stealthily, growing. A letter. Words. Words that killed the spirit of a 14 year old girl.
Then,
I found journals from when i was in my early 20's. Cries of desperation to God, praises for apparent change (due to my own efforts), and then a deeper plunge into the dark pit. Oh, how my heart broke for this woman. This woman who thought for so long that the cross of Christ wasn't enough. For this woman who thought that she had to earn love and acceptance from God, and that every sin she committed caused her to lose her salvation. Then, if she repented enough and cried out enough, she would be saved....again.
O, my heart broke. broke for the lies that she had believed, for the truth she was not told, for the "works" she performed in hopes of being free, for the times she went to "prayer sessions" to be free, for the fear she lived in every minute of every day. This woman was bound in sin and by the fear of man.
As i read, i couldn't help contrast how different things are today. Today. O glorious today.
Today. Today i am growing. Today i am learning to lean in to Christ as the All Sufficient One. I have learned to let go of the fear of man (it is still a battle some days, but it no longer controls me). Today i am being challenged to grow in the Word, to rest in the gospel, to put on the armor of God. Through intense Biblical Discipleship and the tender care of our Pastor, God has transformed my life (and He continues to).
I look back on my journals, and wish that someone would have taught me these truths long ago. I cannot go back in time. I can only move forward, with my eyes fixed on Christ. I now see that i can do NOTHING to add to what Christ has done at Calvary for me, a wretched sinner. I now see that i am loved by God more that i ever deserve, because of what Christ has done. I now see that my salvation is SECURE! I am safe in Christ! No one can snatch me out of His amazing, nail-scarred hands. No one. For those scars were for me, for my sin, so that i could be reconciled to God and have eternity with Him to sing His glorious praise!
10.17.2013
Mysterious Ways
This hymn is by William Cowper.
It is amazing.
Read it slowly.
It means so much right now.
God Moves In A Mysterious Way
It is amazing.
Read it slowly.
It means so much right now.
God Moves In A Mysterious Way
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never-failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs,
And works His sovereign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never-failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs,
And works His sovereign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.
~William Cowper
10.16.2013
Calling Out
This is about all i can say today...
Jesus, Draw me ever nearer
As I labor through the storm
You have called me to this passage
And I'll follow, though I'm worn
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
Jesus, guide me through the tempest
Keep my spirit stayed and sure
When the midnight meets the morning
Let me love You even more
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage
Let me leave them at your throne
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
by Keith & Kirsten Getty
Jesus, Draw me ever nearer
As I labor through the storm
You have called me to this passage
And I'll follow, though I'm worn
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
Jesus, guide me through the tempest
Keep my spirit stayed and sure
When the midnight meets the morning
Let me love You even more
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage
Let me leave them at your throne
May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my hearts testing
With Your likeness let me wake
by Keith & Kirsten Getty
10.09.2013
Hot! Hot! HOT!
We really like habanero peppers. Well, actually, we like to torture ourselves with hot foods. That being said, i grew habaneros again this year. they are one of the hottest in the chili pepper family.
Yesterday i was slicing my peppers in half so that i could dry them in the oven. Like a good hot-pepper-cutter, i wore gloves. You know? the yellow kitchen gloves that are good for everything?
The peppers were all halved and put on the parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Popped them in the oven, washed off the gloves, took them off, and went on with my day.
Awhile later, my son was talking to me. I rubbed my eye with my finger, and BAM!!! Burn, baby, burn!!! My eye was on FIRE! The capsaicin from the blasted habanero went THROUGH my glove!!!!!!!!
After a few minutes of furiously blinking, the pain started to subside. Poor Jey was standing at the sink with me saying, "I sure hope you feel better mom..." over and over.
i don't even want to think of what would have happened if i hadn't had gloves on!
Yesterday i was slicing my peppers in half so that i could dry them in the oven. Like a good hot-pepper-cutter, i wore gloves. You know? the yellow kitchen gloves that are good for everything?
The peppers were all halved and put on the parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Popped them in the oven, washed off the gloves, took them off, and went on with my day.
Awhile later, my son was talking to me. I rubbed my eye with my finger, and BAM!!! Burn, baby, burn!!! My eye was on FIRE! The capsaicin from the blasted habanero went THROUGH my glove!!!!!!!!
After a few minutes of furiously blinking, the pain started to subside. Poor Jey was standing at the sink with me saying, "I sure hope you feel better mom..." over and over.
i don't even want to think of what would have happened if i hadn't had gloves on!
The happy ending: the peppers are all dried now and ready for use at a later date!!
10.07.2013
Grief Observed
It has been over 8 months since my Dad passed away.
I don't talk about him much, though he is most always in my thoughts.
I still get teary-eyed from time to time. I re-live the day of his death often, since i was there with him when he passed.
When my Dad died, everything changed. Everything.
I ended up in some pretty intensive Biblical Discipleship, due to some major upheaval, where i have homework to do: books to read, verses that i pick to memorize, questions to answer, articles to read and pull thoughts out of. It is so good, and so hard all at the same time.
I have seen my sin, as i was immersed in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I saw my bondage to the fear of man, and had to work through some really tough things. But God... God is so FAITHFUL. and gentle. and loving. I even discovered that He doesn't just love me because He has to, but that He likes me as well!
I recently was given God's Healing for Life's Losses: How to Find Hope When You're Hurting by Robert Kellemen. Starting this book has been excellent for me. As i started it, this struck me:
Oh, how thankful i am already for this book... to be real and raw. While i am reading it, sometimes it seems like i just lost my Dad a week ago. Yet, here i am. 8+ months out. I am realizing i need to talk about my Dad more, not just keep it all in my head. and i must let the tears roll down my cheeks, still.
With the intense discipling has come some real growth. In the beginning i was so tired of hearing Romans 8:28. You know, the one we pull out when we don't know what to say, instead of sometimes sitting quietly with the person and weeping with them...It is true, yes. God's Word is true and powerful and living. It is a beautiful verse, yet in the context of great loss, it can sound hollow. BUT... when someone pointed out to me that verse 29 follows verse 28, well, it meant more to me:
I am looking forward to finishing the book on grief. I believe it will continue to solidify the healing that has already begun, and it has already given me "permission" to be real and raw with my pain. If you find yourself suffering for any reason, i believe that Kelleman's book could be a real resource to bring hope (aside from THE Ultimate Source ~ Christ Jesus).
God is taking the ashes of my life and creating something far more beautiful than i could have ever imagined. I would not have chosen this path for myself. Who would? Yet, i am finally seeing how beauty can truly come from the ashes, all for His glory, and His fame.
I don't talk about him much, though he is most always in my thoughts.
I still get teary-eyed from time to time. I re-live the day of his death often, since i was there with him when he passed.
When my Dad died, everything changed. Everything.
I ended up in some pretty intensive Biblical Discipleship, due to some major upheaval, where i have homework to do: books to read, verses that i pick to memorize, questions to answer, articles to read and pull thoughts out of. It is so good, and so hard all at the same time.
I have seen my sin, as i was immersed in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I saw my bondage to the fear of man, and had to work through some really tough things. But God... God is so FAITHFUL. and gentle. and loving. I even discovered that He doesn't just love me because He has to, but that He likes me as well!
I recently was given God's Healing for Life's Losses: How to Find Hope When You're Hurting by Robert Kellemen. Starting this book has been excellent for me. As i started it, this struck me:
Here's my promise to you. I'm not giving you pabulum. No trite platitudes. No false promises. No pretending. We'll remain real and raw like the Puritans who labeled suffering "losses and crosses." pg. 3then,
When tragedy occurs, we enter a crisis of faith. We either move toward God or away from God. We'll probe how to move in the direction of finding God in the midst of our suffering
The end in sight is not quick answers through easy steps. Our goal is deep healing through a personal journey--With God, in Christ. He never lets you walk alone. pg. 7If you are like me and didn't know what pabulum was, here is the definition: bland or insipid intellectual fare, entertainment, etc.
Oh, how thankful i am already for this book... to be real and raw. While i am reading it, sometimes it seems like i just lost my Dad a week ago. Yet, here i am. 8+ months out. I am realizing i need to talk about my Dad more, not just keep it all in my head. and i must let the tears roll down my cheeks, still.
With the intense discipling has come some real growth. In the beginning i was so tired of hearing Romans 8:28. You know, the one we pull out when we don't know what to say, instead of sometimes sitting quietly with the person and weeping with them...It is true, yes. God's Word is true and powerful and living. It is a beautiful verse, yet in the context of great loss, it can sound hollow. BUT... when someone pointed out to me that verse 29 follows verse 28, well, it meant more to me:
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son... Romans 8:28-29aThink of it... ALL things work for good, BECAUSE He is conforming us to the image of His Son! It is quite a bit to wrap our minds around, and reading Romans 8 in its entirety significantly helps. How encouraging! Even the darkest of nights in my life, He is using it to make me more like Christ. In my suffering, i can identify (albeit not to the extent of Christ's) with Christ in HIS suffering.
I am looking forward to finishing the book on grief. I believe it will continue to solidify the healing that has already begun, and it has already given me "permission" to be real and raw with my pain. If you find yourself suffering for any reason, i believe that Kelleman's book could be a real resource to bring hope (aside from THE Ultimate Source ~ Christ Jesus).
God is taking the ashes of my life and creating something far more beautiful than i could have ever imagined. I would not have chosen this path for myself. Who would? Yet, i am finally seeing how beauty can truly come from the ashes, all for His glory, and His fame.
9.27.2013
an observation
My husband and I were discussing some music last night. I have been exposed to a singer/songwriter named Josh Garrels. {Um... REALLY like his music!} As we were talking about one song, my sweet hubby noticed something about me.
he looks over at me with a smirk on his snerk, and lovingly says, "You don't passively listen to music."
I had to chuckle. yeah. NO! i hadn't thought of it that way before, but it is absolutely true. I can hear stuff, and it seems like it becomes a part of me. I get wrapped up in the song. I am sensitive to the tone of voice it is sung in. i can hear the intesity behind the voice. i can feel it. deep inside, i feel the music. and yes, i am one of those ones who will play a song that i am totally "getting" over and over and over.
i don't know.
it moves me. intensely. Even the instrumentals. It speaks.
that being said, i have to take care with what i am listening to!
And that is why the new (to me) sound and voice of Josh Garrels is so refreshing. He is a Believer; a Christ-one. And he is creative. He sings with his soul. it is a breath of fresh air in the cookie-cutter "christian" music scene. He aches over the broken things in this world. He soars with the beauty that is to be found in true, real relationships. He sings the Word of God in a way that is captivating (Revelator).
so, yeah. i don't passively listen to music. i intensely listen. it is part of what makes me, me. As i listen, i learn things; about God, myself, the Bible, and others.
he looks over at me with a smirk on his snerk, and lovingly says, "You don't passively listen to music."
I had to chuckle. yeah. NO! i hadn't thought of it that way before, but it is absolutely true. I can hear stuff, and it seems like it becomes a part of me. I get wrapped up in the song. I am sensitive to the tone of voice it is sung in. i can hear the intesity behind the voice. i can feel it. deep inside, i feel the music. and yes, i am one of those ones who will play a song that i am totally "getting" over and over and over.
i don't know.
it moves me. intensely. Even the instrumentals. It speaks.
that being said, i have to take care with what i am listening to!
And that is why the new (to me) sound and voice of Josh Garrels is so refreshing. He is a Believer; a Christ-one. And he is creative. He sings with his soul. it is a breath of fresh air in the cookie-cutter "christian" music scene. He aches over the broken things in this world. He soars with the beauty that is to be found in true, real relationships. He sings the Word of God in a way that is captivating (Revelator).
so, yeah. i don't passively listen to music. i intensely listen. it is part of what makes me, me. As i listen, i learn things; about God, myself, the Bible, and others.
9.26.2013
Selling Hugs?
As i was driving in the van with my two daughters, my youngest spots a sign with BIG BRIGHT BOLD letters... She knows that we follow these signs [if you haven't guessed, it would be garage sale signs]!
She says: "Mom! Look! There is a sign for a Hug sale! haha!"
Me: "OH! it is a HUGE sale...heehee!"
I wonder, if someone put up a sign selling hugs, how much money you would make?
Today, i choose to be more generous with my hugs....for free :)
9.24.2013
9.23.2013
Forgiven.
I heard this today and was just so grateful for the forgiveness that has been extended to me in Christ.
9.18.2013
Without Jesus
Without Jesus
Just three chords and a melody
Won't leave you a living legacy
Without Jesus
Just four songs and a parable
Might leave you something terrible
Just five bucks in an offering
Won't buy you some prosperity
Just a sixth sense of morality
Won't get you out of your depravity
Without Jesus, oh, without Jesus
You could memorize
Become a Mennonite
You could speak in tongues
And raise the dead to life
You could build a big church
Call it ministry
Teach 'em all they need to know to run a family
You could sell it all
Be burned at the stake
But what in the world have you to ever gain
Without Jesus, oh, without Jesus
If all I ever get out of laying my life down
Is thorns in the shape of a crown
On the brow of a man from Nazareth
And if all I get is what Jesus did,
And said, and put within my heart
Then I get it all
I have it all
Oh, I have it all
Everything is mine
Oh, I have it all
I have it all
Just three chords and a melody
Won't leave you a living legacy
Without Jesus
9.17.2013
Understood?
Last week i was reading in one of my devotional books, Opened Treasures, and i came across an entry that i think many can resonate with. Have you ever been misunderstood? (yep, i can hear the "harrumph.YES!"). I don't know about you, but i have found that when i am really listening to the Word and attempting to live life according to the Word, i am misunderstood more and more.
Are we willing to be misunderstood whilst we follow our Saviour?
Here, the entry from Frances R. Havergal, in Opened Treasures:
MISUNDERSTOOD?
Thou understandest my thought. Psalm 139.2
Who does not know what it is to be misunderstood? Perhaps no one ever is always and perfectly understood, because so few Christians are like their Master in having the spirit of quick understanding. But this does not make it the less trying to you; and you do not feel able to say with Paul, "With me it is a very small thing." But this precious Word which meets every need, gives you a steppingstone which is quite enough to enable you to reach that brave position, if you will only stand on it. "Thou understandest my thought." Even if others "daily mistake" your words, he understands your thought, and is not this infinitely better? He Himself, your ever-loving, ever-present Father, understands. He understands perfectly just what and just when others do not. Not your actions merely, but your thought--the central self which no words can reveal to others. "All my desire is before Thee." He understands how you desired to do the right thing when others thought you did the wrong thing. He understands how His poor, weak child wants to please Him, and secretly mourns over grieving Him. "Thou understandest" seems to go even a step further than the great comfort of "Thou knowest." "His understanding is infinite."
Think Twice
We need to think twice before we speak (text, email, facebook) once.
We can never take our words back.
And our words can hurt, divide, and separate people.
There is almost nothing that the enemy of our souls wants more than division.
or
We can think twice
before we open our mouths
and have words of healing, hope, correction, and love come out.
How will we choose to speak for the King?
I pray it is with prayer, wisdom, understanding, and love, after we have carefully considered the situation we are facing.
We can never take our words back.
And our words can hurt, divide, and separate people.
There is almost nothing that the enemy of our souls wants more than division.
or
We can think twice
before we open our mouths
and have words of healing, hope, correction, and love come out.
How will we choose to speak for the King?
I pray it is with prayer, wisdom, understanding, and love, after we have carefully considered the situation we are facing.
9.16.2013
an unusual post
If you have a struggling reader, writer, or math student, dyslexia may be the answer :) These children and adults are usually very gifted, bright, and talented. Their dyslexia helps them to think outside the box. They CAN learn to read and spell. I tutor in an Orton-Gillingham based system developed by Susan Barton. If you are interested in helping your struggling learner, contact me. I currently tutor 2 of my own children, plus another student in 4th grade.
9.13.2013
Change
How do you know when REAL change has taken place? You know what i mean... you say "okay. i am not gonna get upset about ______. I am gonna try harder." and WHALAA! you do okay for a day or two, but then your resolve fizzles and you are blowing it consistently. No amount of pulling yourself up by your boot straps will work. I would suggest that it is because you have been trying to do it in your own strength, out of a place of pride.
i know. this was me.
There is a TON i could write about this, but i only have time for a short snippet.
Lately, the gospel has been my everything. Every.day. i need the gospel. It is the power of God! As i humbly depend on the finished work of Christ, i notice i am responding to things differently.
Do i blow it? fail? yell?
yep.
but the Holy Spirit is faithful to convict me, to help me to not blame-shift, to take responsibility. i don't wallow in the mud of my failing anymore. i can get up, praise God for the Good News, and keep pressing in.
It struck me this week, how much God has been working. We host a small group 2x's a month. i was actually giddy and joy-filled at the thought of everyone coming over! i wasn't stressed at all. And then yesterday, i spend most of the day just smiling as i did laundry ( i had one hiccup and was frustrated for a bit, but God is faithful to show me my sin, and again i can repent and keep on going). Actually filled with joy in the mundane. Today, mowing and doing yardwork has filled my heart with song. i am realizing that life, every day of it, is a gift from God, that His grace is sufficient, and resting in the finished work of Christ and the knowledge that at this very moment He is ever interceeding for me. Trials WILL come. My faith will stand as it is based in Christ alone, and no longer in my own ability to perform.
i know. this was me.
There is a TON i could write about this, but i only have time for a short snippet.
Lately, the gospel has been my everything. Every.day. i need the gospel. It is the power of God! As i humbly depend on the finished work of Christ, i notice i am responding to things differently.
Do i blow it? fail? yell?
yep.
but the Holy Spirit is faithful to convict me, to help me to not blame-shift, to take responsibility. i don't wallow in the mud of my failing anymore. i can get up, praise God for the Good News, and keep pressing in.
It struck me this week, how much God has been working. We host a small group 2x's a month. i was actually giddy and joy-filled at the thought of everyone coming over! i wasn't stressed at all. And then yesterday, i spend most of the day just smiling as i did laundry ( i had one hiccup and was frustrated for a bit, but God is faithful to show me my sin, and again i can repent and keep on going). Actually filled with joy in the mundane. Today, mowing and doing yardwork has filled my heart with song. i am realizing that life, every day of it, is a gift from God, that His grace is sufficient, and resting in the finished work of Christ and the knowledge that at this very moment He is ever interceeding for me. Trials WILL come. My faith will stand as it is based in Christ alone, and no longer in my own ability to perform.
9.03.2013
Kindred Hearts & Ties that Bind
I am so very thankful for all the kindred hearts at our church. God has abundantly blessed us there, with beautiful relationships that are centered on His Gospel. Thank you, Grace Community Bible Church, for being real and for being so focused on Christ.
8.29.2013
Suffering & God's Sovereignty
Bill Johnson, one of the leaders of the New Apostolic Reformation, believes that God doesn't give us suffering. ever. Here is a short clip of him answering 3 questions... You will notice how lightly he handles the storm on the sea, and the cross. For further information on this kind of theology, read this article by blogger Erin of Do Not Be Surprised.
Contrast the above video with what R.C. Sproul, Jr. has to say about suffering.
Within 10 months of each other, R.C. Sproul, Jr. lost his wife to cancer and his special needs daughter. This is worth listening to. It is 20 minutes long.
I wonder what Mr. Johnson would say to Mr. Sproul?
hmmm.
Contrast the above video with what R.C. Sproul, Jr. has to say about suffering.
Within 10 months of each other, R.C. Sproul, Jr. lost his wife to cancer and his special needs daughter. This is worth listening to. It is 20 minutes long.
I wonder what Mr. Johnson would say to Mr. Sproul?
hmmm.
8.26.2013
Worlds Apart
For almost 20 years this has been a favorite song of mine (as well as the prayer of my heart). I absolutely love this version of it...
Listen. pray. release. rest in Christ.
Listen. pray. release. rest in Christ.
8.22.2013
The Gift of Photographs
Today i was given a beautiful gift in the mail. My Grandpop made copies of some old photographs that i had asked for. There were five 8x10's, and a couple 3x5's (that i had NEVER seen!) in the envelope. As i opened them, i caught my breath. A beautiful picture of my Dad in his Marines uniform. Wow.
There was a picture of my Mom and Dad's wedding day. They looked so happy. How quickly that faded....
There was a picture of my great-grandparents who came over from Sicily. precious.
A picture of my great-grandpop in his Italian WWI uniform. amazing!
There was small picture of my Dad as a baby that i had never seen, as well as a picture of my Dad and his brother, my Uncle Mike, as young boys. They were 4 years apart, my Dad being the oldest.
I had a tear or two in my eyes, but more than anything, i was filled with gratefulness for this precious gift. A gift that will continue to give for my lifetime.
There was a picture of my Mom and Dad's wedding day. They looked so happy. How quickly that faded....
There was a picture of my great-grandparents who came over from Sicily. precious.
A picture of my great-grandpop in his Italian WWI uniform. amazing!
There was small picture of my Dad as a baby that i had never seen, as well as a picture of my Dad and his brother, my Uncle Mike, as young boys. They were 4 years apart, my Dad being the oldest.
I had a tear or two in my eyes, but more than anything, i was filled with gratefulness for this precious gift. A gift that will continue to give for my lifetime.
8.19.2013
8.15.2013
Meditation
This morning i read Psalm 19. It dawned on me as i read that this would be a GREAT Psalm to put up in our schoolroom. It speaks of how wonderful the precepts, statutes, commandments, and law of the Lord are in verses 7-14. Actually, it reminded me of a summary of Psalm 119! What a beautiful prayer to pray as well at the end of the chapter.
Here it is...may we all be encouraged and reminded of just how beautiful, marvelous, and powerful the Word truly is.
The law of the Lord is perfect,restoring the soul;
The testimony of the Lord is sure,making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the Lord is pure,enlightening the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is clean,enduring forever;
The judgments of the Lord are true;they are righteous altogether.
They are more desirable than gold,yes, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honeyand the drippings of the honeycomb.
Moreover, by them Your servant is warned;
In keeping them there is great reward.
Who can discern his errors?Acquit me of hidden faults.
Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins;
Let them not rule over me;
Then I will be blameless,
And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.
Let the words of my mouthand the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.
~Psalm 19:7-14
8.13.2013
It is NOT Meaningless
This song was brought to my attention by 2 people today. It is beautiful. It is called "Though You Slay Me" by Shane & Shane. I searched and found a blog post explaining it. It is amazing. As i listened to this song, the tears started streaming down my cheeks as Piper's preaching was included.
A message i needed to be reminded of.
A message we all need to be reminded of.
Take a moment to read the article (a VERY quick read) and then listen to the song.
Your suffering, or affliction, or sorrow is NOT meaningless. It IS producing an eternal weight of glory.
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4.16-18
May His grace abound toward you.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this after you read/hear it :) Leave a comment and we will have a conversation...
8.12.2013
We Have Found Him !!
The following entry is from Opened Treasures. It is a gathering of portions of Frances Ridley Havergal's writings in a daily devotional format.
COME AND SEE
Come and see. John 1:39
The Lord Jesus said it first. He said it to the two disciples of John who heard that He was the Lamb of God. They knew very little about Him, but they followed Him. Perhaps they would not even have ventured to speak, but, "Jesus turned, and saw them following," and spoke to them.The they asked Him where He dwelt, and He said, "Come and see!" Philip said it next. He had found Christ himself, and at once he told his friend Nathanael about it, "Come and see!" Is it not said still? Oh, "come and see!" Look into the Saviour's glorious and loving face, and see how ready He is to receive you, and to bless you. Come and see what He has done for you; see how He loved you and gave Himself for you; how He lived and suffered and bled and died for you ! Come and see what gifts He has for you - forgiveness and peace, His Spirit and His grace, His joy and His love ! Come and see where He dwelleth - see that He is ready to come in and dwell with you, to make your heart His own dwelling-place. Oh, if I could but persuade you to "come and see!" There is no other sight so glorious and beautiful. Will you not come? When you have come, when you can say, like Philip, "We have found Him!" and like Paul, "We see Jesus," will you not say to someone else, "Come and see!" You will wish every one else to come to Him, and you have His word to bid you try to bring them: "Let him that heareth say, Come!"
Hush! while on silvery wing of holiest song
Floats forth the old, dear story of our peace,
His coming, the Desire of Ages long,
To wear our chains, and win our glad release.
Our wondering joy, to hear such tidings blest
Is crowned with "Come to Him, and He will give you rest."
~Frances Ridley Havergal
8.07.2013
No Chasers...
So, we had a pretty big storm here last night. Hail that was 2"x1"x1" thick. It was big, bad, and scary. Honestly sounded like someone was throwing fistfuls of large rocks at our north side.
So, today i called insurance.
i am SO not going up on the roof to check for damage.
neither is the hubby.
Our insurance agency is stellar...really. The woman who helps us isn't even the agent, but she is his right hand, FOR SURE. She is so helpful, and even remembers who we are. That right there is pretty cool. Well, she said an adjuster would call us within a few days, and it may take a couple weeks for someone to come out. No biggie. Then she kindly warned me about any storm chasers and to avoid them.
Yep.
I have seen the stories. Bad stories, of people taken for a ride by "roofers" and "contractors" that hit neighborhoods after a big storm. STAY AWAY... Got it.
I had been off the phone for less than an hour when, lo and behold, here comes a storm chaser! I met him on the porch, and he handed me his business card. I very kindly (seriously!) thanked him for stopping but told him i was going through our insurance company.
You would have thought that i had called him every nasty name in the book! No kidding! He starts telling me, quite vehemently, that i need to just use him and not use insurance. I quite nicely informed him that we weren't even sure we had damage, and we were waiting for an adjuster. I also stated that our insurance company has served us quite well and has always taken care of our needs. (:
He had had enough. I got a rather passionate speech about why adjusters are basically evil, and that i needed to go through him. Then, winner of all winners, he tries to name-drop with me! We have one incredibly wealthy man on the edge of our neighborhood. He owns a real estate group, and even has the street he lives on (which he had all the homes built...4 of them i believe) named after himself. Nice.
I politely said, "Well, good for Mr.______." Fairly ticked at me by this point because i didn't fall for his intimidation and now his name dropping, he said something again, and i honestly can't remember it! I replied that i would take his card and possibly call him if the need arose after we spoke to our adjuster and insurance company.
He huffed off our porch.
I smiled.
Then it dawned on me that i wouldn't call him, even if we did need a roofer. His rudeness and attitude toward me sunk his ship.
Moral: Go through your insurance, and smile at the storm chasers, no matter how irritated they get.
So, today i called insurance.
i am SO not going up on the roof to check for damage.
neither is the hubby.
Our insurance agency is stellar...really. The woman who helps us isn't even the agent, but she is his right hand, FOR SURE. She is so helpful, and even remembers who we are. That right there is pretty cool. Well, she said an adjuster would call us within a few days, and it may take a couple weeks for someone to come out. No biggie. Then she kindly warned me about any storm chasers and to avoid them.
Yep.
I have seen the stories. Bad stories, of people taken for a ride by "roofers" and "contractors" that hit neighborhoods after a big storm. STAY AWAY... Got it.
I had been off the phone for less than an hour when, lo and behold, here comes a storm chaser! I met him on the porch, and he handed me his business card. I very kindly (seriously!) thanked him for stopping but told him i was going through our insurance company.
You would have thought that i had called him every nasty name in the book! No kidding! He starts telling me, quite vehemently, that i need to just use him and not use insurance. I quite nicely informed him that we weren't even sure we had damage, and we were waiting for an adjuster. I also stated that our insurance company has served us quite well and has always taken care of our needs. (:
He had had enough. I got a rather passionate speech about why adjusters are basically evil, and that i needed to go through him. Then, winner of all winners, he tries to name-drop with me! We have one incredibly wealthy man on the edge of our neighborhood. He owns a real estate group, and even has the street he lives on (which he had all the homes built...4 of them i believe) named after himself. Nice.
I politely said, "Well, good for Mr.______." Fairly ticked at me by this point because i didn't fall for his intimidation and now his name dropping, he said something again, and i honestly can't remember it! I replied that i would take his card and possibly call him if the need arose after we spoke to our adjuster and insurance company.
He huffed off our porch.
I smiled.
Then it dawned on me that i wouldn't call him, even if we did need a roofer. His rudeness and attitude toward me sunk his ship.
Moral: Go through your insurance, and smile at the storm chasers, no matter how irritated they get.
7.30.2013
Still My Soul
This song was sung a week ago at church. I was out of the room when it was sung by our Pastor's wife and his sister. I looked it up yesterday, and was encouraged greatly.
I pray it is an encouragement to you as well (:
I pray it is an encouragement to you as well (:
7.25.2013
Six Months
Six months ago today.
It was Friday.
and it was cold.
Not as cold as it had been.
but still, cold.
I was with my Dad.
reading Psalm 34 to him.
I had no idea that he was actively dying.
He was clammy.
I thought he was just hot and sweaty.
I prayed.
and sang.
Amazing Grace.
and Jesus Loves Me/You.
They came to shift him around.
i came back in and his lips were blue.
running.
nurses.
"He is going, honey."
"He is gone."
God had His people there.
The head nurse is His.
She prayed for me, with me.
"Are you a Christ-one" i mumble.
"Yes. Let's pray."
It was precious.
real.
sincere.
She is a Christ-one.
I was alone,
but not alone.
moved to a room.
waiting.
making phone calls.
crying.
My sister arrived.
My husband was there
as i went back to the room.
The room where he lay.
still.
silent.
no machines.
no beeps.
no more nurses.
That day is ingrained in my mind.
every moment.
Arrived home to loving friends.
The Barton's.
tumbled out of car,
and finally fell apart.
completely.
grief.
oh, grief.
Friend's stopping in all afternoon,
and Pastors coming in the evening.
Tears shed with me.
love.
absolute love.
in the midst of deepest grief and pain.
Christ's hands and feet...every single one of them that came.
My precious husband.
Loving me. holding me. letting me weep.
The last 6 months have been some of the most difficult, if not THE most difficult months i have walked through. God is so faithful to carry me. to grow me. to comfort me. to heal me. My dad's passing has brought up so many things. difficult things. i am still surprised at how very much I miss him. I wish i could hear him talk again; see him smile; hear his laugh...even hear him yell. at least he would be here.
But he is not here.
He never will be again.
His death brought about many changes. Familial changes that have been just as difficult to handle. Through it all, God is showing me that He alone is my heritage and my hope. My refuge and my Redeemer. My peace, and my comforter. He is my all in all.
His Word has become so precious to me. My very life... I long to hide myself in His Word. To cling to the promises. To trust that they are true and that they are for me. My earthly dad is gone. i miss him. i had never gone this long without talking to him. it is so hard.
But i lift my gaze to heaven, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. I fix my eyes upon Him, the Author and Finisher of my faith. My Jesus. My hope. My security. My God. My Father. My everything.
Six life-changing months. sorrowful, yet finding moments of joy. hurting, yet finding hope. Biblical hope. REAL HOPE.
7.23.2013
7.21.2013
Our Lips Kept For Him
Opened Treasures is a daily devotional book. It is a compilation of Frances Ridley Havergal's writings. I have the full text of many of her writings in other books of hers from the 1800's. Opened Treasures uses an abridged version. I thoroughly enjoy it as a devotional. This one is spot on with what i have been meditating on lately.
Remember, your comments make this a conversation (:
Our Lips For Him
The lips of the righteous feed many...The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable.
Proverbs 10:21, 32
The days are past forever when we said, "Our lips are our own." Now we know that they are not our own. And yet how many of my readers often have the miserable consciousness that they have "spoken unadvisedly with their lips!" How many pray, "Keep the door of my lips,"when the very last thing they think of expecting is that they will be kept! They deliberately make up their minds that hasty word, or foolish words, or exaggerated words, according to their respective temptations, must and will slip out of that door, and that it can't be helped. The extent of the real meaning of their prayer was merely that not quite so many might slip out. As their faith went no farther, the answer went no farther, and so the door was not kept. Do let us look the matter straight in the face. Either we have committed our lips to our Lord, or we have not. This question must be settled first. If not, oh, do not let another hour pass! Take them to Jesus, and ask Him to take them. But when you have committed them to Him, it comes to this--is He able or is He not able to keep that which you have committed to Him? If He is not able, of course you may as well give up at once, for your own experience has abundantly proved that you are not able, so there is no help for you. But if He is able--nay, thank God there is no if on this side!--say, rather, as He is able, where was this inevitable necessity of perpetual failure? You have been fancying yourself virtually doomed and fated to it, and therefore you have gone on in it, while all the time His arm was not shortened that it could not save, but you have been limiting the Holy One of Israel. Honestly, now, have you trusted Him to keep your lips this day? Trust necessarily implies expectation that what we have intrusted will be kept. If you have not expected Him to keep, you have not trusted. You may have tried and tried very hard, but you have not trusted, and therefore you have not been kept and your lips have been the snare of your soul (Proverbs 18:7). ~ Frances R. Havergal
Remember, your comments make this a conversation (:
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